Post # 1
so I’m really curious for those of us 30+ brides who haven’t had kids yet. Honestly what was your reasoning behind not having them in your 20’s? I always hear of a lot of women who want to start their family before they turn “30” like that’s some sort of evil number (I know it’s not…I’m just making a point…) but for me it was a lot of things.
#1 – my husband and I only met when I was 27 – and we weren’t ready to get married, let alone have kids for those first 2 years – and we wanted to wait until after the actul wedding (which is in june! i can’t wait to TTC!) and so I will be at LEAST 31 before I have my first child (I turn 31 in august)…
#2 – it just never happened. I was never in a good relationship in my 20’s until I met my husband.
#3 – financially I couldn’t raise a child on my own and also – be very honest – I was extremely selfish in my 20’s and didn’t want to care for a child just yet.
HOWEVER that all being said now – I can not WAIT to have our first! our wedding, again, is 2.5 months away and we are starting to TTC pretty much our wedding night! I’m already off my BCP and trying to get my body ready to TTC.
I’m actually very happy I did wait so long because I loved my 20’s and can’t wait to start a family now that I’m in my new decade.
I’d just love to hear perspectives from other 30+ who haven’t had children yet but plan to now. 🙂
Post # 3
I turned 30 last July, and the wedding is June 19th, so I will most likely be 31 before I get pregnant. FH and I have been together for 7 years and just weren’t ready until now. I always said that I wanted to wait until I was 30 and we wanted to have a house and get married first. Not that we think there is anything wrong with not being married, we just wanted to actually plan it. That being said, I think we want to shoot for August, but I plan on going off birth control right after the wedding, and if it happens before August I would be super excited. I can’t wait to experience the whole thing. Good luck with everything and happy planning!
Post # 4
I didn’t meet the right guy until I was 32! I’m 34 now, we are getting married in 6 weeks and between me and the hive – we’re already ttc. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but even in my longest relationships in my 20s (4 years and 2.5 years) I never felt secure enough with them to even think about having babies, but my Fiance and I talked about it on our first date and have always known we would have (adorable) babies together.
Post # 5
I’ll be 33 next month. My twenties were one big inappropriate bachleorette/new years eve/spring break/birthday party. We also wanted to finish school, and buy a house before we even thought about kids. There is also a little old fashioned part of me that wanted to be married before I got preggers…not that it would have been the worst thing in the world but this is the perfect time for me and Fiance to start a family.
Post # 6
I am 31. I never found a good guy until now. My Fiance and I met just over 4 years ago, I was 27, but he was only 24 – he was just a couple years outside of a divorce, and wasn’t ready to get married yet.
I decided to wait for the right relationship. I still have plenty of years to have kids. We will probably wait at least a year after the wedding, so I’ll be 33 with the first one, then maybe 35 with a second.. I think that’s fine. I have a friend who had her first at 37, and second at 40 – both super healthy.
I really knew that I wanted a solid relationship before I had kids. And I was in a bunch of crappy relationships before my Fiance. I’m happy with my decision. I also had time to get my license and other accredidations in my field, and will have an easier time changing jobs now too.
I think it worked out for the best.
Post # 7
I’m 25 so I guess this isn’t totally aimed at me… but I’d like to say that I don’t want to have kids BEFORE I’m 30! To me, your 20s are a great time to just build a solid foundation for your life, have fun, and be kind of selfish! IF I have kids, I would ideally love to have them between 30 and 35 (and only before 35 because I’ve heard that that is kind of the line after which you tend to encounter more issues conceiving).
Post # 8
i am 26… will be 27 a month before our wedding day.
i will be working FT and law schooling at night for the formidable future. therefore Fiance and i will TTC… in five years… and that’s the minimum that we will wait… i will graduate law school when im 29/30 and want to practice for a year or two before i TTC… which puts me at 31/32 for our first 😛
i want to enjoy Fiance and my time together, and make sure that we accomplish our goals … i want to be 110% about the bab(ies) once we start having kids and i don’t want to ever feel like i didn’t get to accomplish goign to law school whic hhas been a goal since the 8th grade.
plus Fiance is a big enough baby to handle right now! LOL
Post # 9
Like Corgi, I’m not 30 just yet (28, so close), and personally, the first half of my 20’s was a pretty non-stop party/travel/do things/be selfish/get-to-know-myself time (and schooling of course), and the second half of my 20’s is being spent building a professional career, having fun with FH, and achieving some life goals.
I’ve never wanted children in my 20’s, and def didn’t have the time or money for them until now. My FH is 44, so there is a bit of pressure for us to have children in the next few years, which I’m ok with, but if he were younger, I would definitely wait until I was in my mid 30’s to have kids.
Post # 10
I think the trend of having kids in your twenties is not as normal as it used to be. I know 30, 40, and 50 is not what it used to be. For me I wanted to focus more on my career and experience my life and our life as a couple before we start having kids. I am 28 right now and I don’t even plan on thinking about having kids of another 5 years.
Post # 11
I’m 32. I didn’t want to have kids until I met the right guy, got married, etc, etc. It would have been nice to get married or have kids earlier, but it didn’t work out that way. We want to have kids sooner than later, but we also want to enjoy being married for a bit before TTC. I have my annual next week and I’m going to ask about things, but we won’t TTC for a year or so.
Post # 12
Okay…wow. I’m 37 and will be 38 when I get married in October. My Fiance is 42. I met him when I was 33. And prior to that, I was in unhealthy relationship upon unhealthy relationship. I needed to get my life in order and lord knows since I could barely keep up with life, I was in no way, shape or form ready to be responsible for a child’s life.
With that being said, I always wanted just one child. But now as I am in my later 30’s, I struggle with the notion. A part of me wants one and the other part of me doesn’t. It’s those times when I come home from work, hang with my dogs, relax and /or go to the gym and spend uninterupted time with my Fiance.
But then I always picture having a child. And how great it would be, etc. I don’t want to be 70 and resenting the fact that I didn’t have a child.
It’s up in the air and something I struggle with on a daily basis.
Post # 13
I had a blast in my 20’s!!! I lived on my own for most of it, I went out with friends, came home at 6am, worked late, changed plans at the drop of a hat, quit jobs, established myself at work, traveled, lived life, defined myself and who I was in my own skin without the title of mother, child, wife, girlfriend, etc.
I’m not in any way whatsoever knocking women who DO have children earlier, but I personally feel more prepared for kids in my life now that I’m older and have experienced things I wouldn’t have been able to if I’d had a child at home. My Mom was 21 when she had her first kid, so she doesn’t relate well to the free spirited vibe women of our generation have – hopefully I won’t have that approach & will be able to understand my daughter better because I was able to experience it.
I think we’ll wait a while, but not too long since I AM 32, not 22. I’d like to have a 1st Anniv before we try so we have some time alone together just the 2 of us.
That and the idea of pushing a 6-9lb human being out of my jay-jay kinda freaks me out.
Post # 14
Well I got married at 30, but that was not a total accident – even if I met the right guy earlier, I would have been ready for marriage until my late 20s. I am super independent and my 20s were a great selfish decade full of friends, adventures, career and becoming a fully formed version of myself. For me, I would not have been ready to have kids much earlier because I needed to find that personal fulfillment before entering the selflessness of motherhood … I know feel ready (or as ready as I will ever be) to put aside some of my life for my soon to be son 🙂 I can tell my mom and her sister who got married at 21 lived vicariously through me in my 20s….
Post # 15
it really is great to hear from so many other brides who are like me! to each their own, obviously. 🙂
Post # 16
I am 30 and getting married in 4ish months. We are going to TTC as soon as we are married. I am glad I waited, I too was enjoying my 20’s. I went to college, partied, met my Fiance and established myself in my career. Now I am ready to be married and have a family. I don’t know if I could have appreciated what an amazing feat we are about to take on if I was still in my 20’s.