32 and feeling like I will always be alone

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

Girl, I feel you. I was in these shoes and I JUST turned 33 (yesterday to be exact). My first boyfriend in college and I dated for five years. I ended up leaving him because he was too immature for me and coming home drunk all the time. I was just over it. He’s a good person, and he’s grown up a lot over the years. I wish him well, but he seems like he really never quite got over the fact I left. We had a mutal friend that I was friends with first and I joke with my other friends saying “I guess he got that one in the ‘divorce’ and I got this one”. It was really upsetting he made that mutal friend choose between him or I at the friend’s birthday party. So, I think the mutal friend just decided that my ex saw more of him. I let it fizzle out and I don’t talk to either of them now. Oh well.

My second boyfriend I was with for 5 years also. We lived together, adopted a cat together, and I thought we were really going to get married. He ended up breaking up with me. From what I gathered out of random thoughts written down (that I probably wasn’t supposed to read but I needed the closure I couldn’t get) he let me go because he couldn’t give me what I wanted and he felt terribly about it. He hid his depression from me for years and he really needed a lot of help. I wanted to be there for him but I think he was so far down that he just felt like a burden. It really wasn’t up to me to pull him out of it, he needed to do it for himself. Obviously I made sure he was OK and got him to talk to someone- and it kind of showed me that I had a lot of issues to work out myself.

I was single for about a year and a half. I dated a few guys. One was like 29 going on 16 and I basically told him to get lost. Another guy I only went on 3 dates and I decided he and I weren’t compatible. Then my now SO messaged me on instagram and said we should get a beer sometime. We used to work together a long time ago and always kept in touch now and then. I figured why not, I really wasn’t looking at the time- but something just clicked. We have been dating for almost a year, and I know he is the one. We’ve already discussed marriage and both knew what we wanted from the beginning and made that known.

So, the guy for you is out there, just don’t go looking for them too hard 🙂

Post # 17
1603 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
saragol78 :  at one point it was VERY hard to keep all their names straight and remember who was who! I had to really pay attention lol 

Post # 19
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I got married this year at age 39. I was single for a good part of my adult life before that. My longest relationship began at 30 (2-3 years), and like the one you described he was abusive and manipulative and horrible. I was an easy mark for him as I’d been single so long. Anyway after that I had feelings and worries that it’d never happen for me. But like they say, it happens when you least expect it. I know that doesn’t help to hear, but my point is I’ve been there and I understand how it feels. 

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