- 8 years ago
I’m seriously seeking the advice from women who’ve been in my situation before. I’m desparate for my man to propose, and I can’t hide it.
I’ve been “engaged” twice before. Once, when I was 20 and pressured my young boyfriend of 2 1/2 years too hard. It was an expected and unromantic proposal with a cz that I forced him into buying. We didn’t work out.
Years later, and many bf’s later, I started dating older men because I “thought” that they’d be grown up, have their act together, and want the same things as I. I found a man 16 yrs. my senior. I never pressured him into marriage, but one day, he felt me distancing myself and slipping away…and so he took me into a ring shop, had me try on a few, and when I found a beautiful ring, asked me if I “wanted it”. I turned to him and said…”well…are you asking?” “uh..yeah..” was his answer. And we went to a family steakhouse afterward.
So…neither one of these proposals felt “right”, but still I was willing to marry the second one who “proposed”. But 5 years later, no REAL proposal or plans for a wedding started taking formation. We became resentful of one another and knew we were no longer a match. I left after devoting 7 years of my life to this man.
Now, I’m with an amazingly handsome and romantic man who made the grade after careful dating selection. I made no bones to inform each of my dates after Mr. 7 year that I wasn’t looking for a long bf/gf relationship…I was looking for marriage material. If he got scared and walked…no problem…call it my “weeding out” process. Just means, he wasn’t in it for the same reasons, and he can take a hike from day one for all I care.
But my love didn’t get scared off, and we have now been together for 1 1/2 years. He promised by Christmas or Valentine’s Day, I’d have a ring on my finger. But I had to get to know his family first. Well, we moved clearn across the country together, bought a house, and I’m very close with his family. It’s June. I have begged and pressured, and to no avail. He told me back in December that “I’ve got it covered…It’s already in the works” regarding a ring. Well, what gives? What’s taking so long. I’m not getting any younger and I’m frustrated beyond belief.
I’ve researched men’s journals, women’s journals, websites, videos and self-help resources. Everything says to not pressure, he needs to do it when he’s ready. I’m deathly afraid of devoting another 7 years of my life to another joker. I’ve always envisioned myself getting married in my 20’s, but abandoned that dream long ago as my 20’s came and went. My next goal is to walk down that aisle in my wedding dress PRE-botox age. Don’t they know us women have clocks?
I’ll stop nagging, but inside, I hurt everyday as this waiting game continues. I cry everyday in solitude about this, and sometimes I can’t hide it from him. He says I’m obsessed. But I’m 32 and MORE THAN READY!
Somebody please help! I need advice.
Waiting away in desperation.