(Closed) 32 Weeks pregnant and SOOO Over it *VENT*

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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MrsEME:  Thank you so much for defending me that is exactly what I mean. 

Post # 32
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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MrsEME:  Unfortunately, people do take ill considered and uneducated advice they are given online. I work at a nursing call center and we get follow up calls from these people all the time.

If the Bee had said ” Maybe you should check with your doctor about the coffee. My doctor told me it was ok to have __ cups a day. Ask your doctor if that would be ok for you”, that would be having a conversation about what you can and cannot have during pregancy.

Saying you CAN have coffee gives a blanket approval to everyone, which is patently false.

The people who are freaking out on this thread are the ones who will not allow the OP’s vent to stand as a vent-period.

Post # 33
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Who cares if you can’t eat soft cheese, deli meats, or get contacts. Some physical aspects can be very uncomfortable, but your list is so silly. You’re getting a healthy baby so it seems like a great trade off.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by  MrsAB.
Post # 34
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Let’s be real guys. Anyone posting on an Internet board (meant for weddings, one of the most self indulgent things on the planet) in their spare time has nothing to whine about compared to 98% of the world. It means it is extremely unlikely you are dying of hunger and thirst, living in the middle of a war zone where bombs exploding are real risks,  living under extreme political/religious/social oppression,  or dying of archaic and preventable disease. Baring such issues, just because someone else’s issues aren’t yours, or you suffer in a different way does not in anyway make theirs any less real or bad to them. And again, the title of the post clearly outlines what the post is about,  if it is going to be traumatic to you, click away. Tada! But there is no need to flay the OP for posting what is clearly and labeled as a vent. 

Post # 35
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I seriously don’t get the Invalidation Olympics in this thread. Yes, you could have a premature baby, or a baby with a terrible illness. You could have a miscarriage, or be unable to get pregnant at all. You could also be literally starving to death, or living in North Korea, or dying of Ebola. There is almost always someone in the world who would kill to be in your position. That doesn’t mean that no one is allowed to complain ever. And since we all have internet access, I’m pretty sure that none of us are in the running for Person With the Worst Life Ever. 

OP’s title made it pretty clear what this thread was about. If she stormed into a TTC thread and was like, “oh you guys don’t really want to be pregnant, trust me it sucks” then she would totally deserve some of these reactions. But damn, everyone is entitled to bitch every now and then without a thousand sanctimonious reminders that she should be grateful for a healthy pregnancy. She already said that she is.

Post # 36
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

And for real, while I have totally felt that way (“I can’t believe you’re complaining, at least you can get pregnant/carry a baby”) I have never actually said that to somebody because it is totally unproductive. Imagine if someone who was infertile went into a moms of preemies thread and was like, “I can’t believe you’re complaining, at least you have living children.” Or if someone from Cambodia came into a TTC thread and was like, “I can’t believe you’re complaining, at least you have clean water to drink.” Everyone is well within their rights to FEEL that way, I just really don’t see the point of saying it out loud to someone. No one likes to be invalidated. I bitch about my job even though I know I’m lucky to have one. I bitch about my husband leaving his underpants on the floor even though I know some of my friends wish they had significant others. This is the same sort of thing. 

Post # 37
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

Holy pissing match…

to everyone who is offended. I dont like your rants about mother in laws, mine is dead. I dont like your rants about wedding dresses, I can’t afford one. I don’t like your rants about open bars, my brother is a recovering alcoholic and I cant have one. I don’t like your rants about jobs, I’m unemployed. I don’t like your rants about makeup or hair, I have extreme self confidence issues and won’t be having mine done. I don’t like your rants about infertility, they make me feel bad because I got pregnant when I not only wasn’t trying but was actively preventing. I don’t lIke your rants about who’s paying for what because I am paying for everything myself with a very limited budget. I don’t like your rants about e-ring style or setting or cut or color or grade or amount spent because I don’t have one. See how silly it is for me to post all of that? Same situation. 

 

To the OP, check with your OB on some of those. I think you might have some wiggle room. But keep on keeping on, you are almost there. And somedal you will be like me, mom to a school aged child who misses the belly kicks, or not. But either way the end result is totally worth it!

Post # 38
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

Btw, my complaint aren’t real to me rants. Just setting an example. I just don’t know how to edit that!

Post # 39
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Lighten up, everyone! I’m dying for a baby, but because of a chronic illness and the medication I take to manage it, pregnancy (and therefore babies) will likely never be in our future. Actually, sex itself rarely happens (maybe once or twice a year) because it is so unbelievably painful for me.

And… I still found the OP’s post hilarious! Vent away, OP, because you are not alone and women since the beginning of time have had many of the same complaints! Just because I want a baby doesn’t magically make pregnancy easy or fun for other people! Some women love being pregnant and others hate it. Being tired and frustrated with pregnancy does not make you ungrateful or a bad mom. I hope the rest of your pregnancy gets easier and that you have a healthy baby! 

Post # 40
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

OP don’t worry, it’s completely fine to rant. It’s a pregnancy board FFS. What are people supposed to do? Bow down to the god of pregnancy every thread just because someone is having a tough time TTC? No. Just no. People need to get a grip. I also do not believe the majority of long time TTCers would behave in this way. I have personally witnessed most TTCers acknowledge that their jealousy or hurt is no one else’s problem. I am sure they do feel upset when reading a thread like this but a) they know it’s not the OP’s fault, b) they wouldn’t read such a thread and c) they have grace and dignity.

Post # 41
Member
985 posts
Busy bee

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Peanut-Sue:  +1

not even TTC but I didnt see anything inhorently wrong. perhaps it can be taken as extreme, i can understand that but I didnt take her “because of the baby” to mean she was blaming the baby and ungrateful for the baby, i think its moreso an issue of diction. and as people have stated it wasnt on the TTC boards. 

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LittleLadyW:  although those are your feelings, they are not every single woman who cant concieve. It gives all of you out there TTC a bad name when you get “overly” offended by a pregnant woman just expressing her frustration. sure maybe it was a tad insensitive I get it, but I think its safe to say you will not enjoy every single “negative” thing that comes along with your pregnancy just because you are pregnant ! that logic makes no sense. OMG my back is aching, my feet are swollen, i cant sleep, i pee all the time, im on bed rest (hopefully not) but im so happy all of these things are happening cus it means im with child.. I dont think so. I think you would like to believe that but who knows how you will be feeling when you have had one too many bad days being pregnant, God willing (if you belive in God) that you will ever be fortunate to experience a viable pregnancy. I wish you luck in your journey but at the same time respectfully disagree in your making OP being tired to not be appreciative of the fact that she has a life inside of her (paraphrasing). 

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GonnaBeMrsB:  OP most have already stated what I Want to say. so Ill just add to hang in there. when you hold your child for the first time Im sure it will all be worth it. best of luck. heres to the next 2 months flying by!! but still try to enjoy it, as some mothers I have known have felt a little empty after giving birth (not a pun lol) but they said they are no longer one with their child and they feel somewhat emotionally disconnected, Im not talking about post partum, although I guess those feelings could bleed into that eventually. 

best of luck !! 

Post # 42
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

If we all tiptoed around other peoples issues and personal lives we’d explode! 

We need to vent/bitch it’s a stress release.

As a PP said I’m in the same boat about getting pregnant without trying and actively trying to prevent. 

I hate being pregnant. I love my baby and would die for him! I am thankful for this blessing and consider myself to be the luckiest woman alive carrying my SO others child. But I hate being pregnant also. 

Of course it will be worth it a million times over but people need to take a massive chill pill.

Why come on a thread to moan about how affended you are? 

I’m desperately saving to buy a house.. I don’t go on the home threads and post about how lucky Everyone there is for their leaky roofs and out dated decor… 

OP i thought your list was funny and made me feel better that I’m not the only one at 32 weeks finding it so hard. I too am SOOOOOO over it and can not wait for baby to be here x

8

Post # 43
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah…

I’m TTC right now, just 3+ months so far, but obviously I’d love to be pregnant.. but at the same time, when I am, I expect that some of it will be an uncomfortable nightmare.. so I totally sympathize OP ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Every time I say anything even slightly negative about my life, my friend ”Lucy” says ”Well, at least you’re married!!”.. and it’s so unhelpful ๐Ÿ˜€

Obviously, the best thing anyone can do in any situation is be grateful for what they have.. so my advice to you OP is to take it one moment at a time and look forward to your baby ๐Ÿ™‚

And my advice to any women TTC (including myself) is to just enjoy everything that you won’t be able to enjoy when you’re pregnant… like wine :), coffee, loads of sports, late romantic date-nights with your SO.. just enjoy your freedom, your peace and quiet, the fact that you’re a healthy person with a man who loves you by your side, etc.. and your baby will come when it’s ready. There’s no point spending hours wishing you were pregnant… it won’t make it happen any faster.. don’t wish your life away. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 44
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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LittleLadyW:  this is what I was going to say. I get it’s just a vent but a lot of those complaints are so trivial it’s unbelievable. Get a grip. Theyre women on this site who would never eat deli meat or soft cheeses again to have a healthy pregnancy & baby.

i know it’s hard- been there 32 weeks pregnant & like a house so I know it’s tough, but just relax and enjoy the last few weeks till baby is here! X

Post # 45
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I cannot believe the gall of the can’t TTC crowd on here.

Quite frankly, much of my life now revolves around reproduction (crams before period, horrible period, exhaustion) then I ovulate and am in TWW and then I can’t help my husband with things around our new house like staining the banister or painting or take a hot bath. (I have a very low body temp naturally and so I need water of atleast 120 to stay warm).

Honestly, after 2 months of this I have decided I’m just biding my time.  I don’t really want to get pregnant, its a pain in the butt.  I told my hubs after 6 months I’m seeing a dr, and then after 6 months of putting up with a doctor I’m getting rid of my utuerous.  I don’t want to deal with this any more.

 

Someone could say oooooo you horrible person you, you have a working uterus and are so terrible. 

 

Well, its my body, its my right.  And I think that’s what epople are forgetting here.  Just becuase you’re TTC and haven’t dosn’t give you the right to tell someone else that its bad that they are frustrated and in pain.  Guess what?  You can TTC and then have a horrible shattering pregnancy that destroyes you.  People do.  ALL THE TIME. 

People can want to be great and talented athletes but not be up to par no matter how hard they work because they just don’t have the skill.  It dosn’t give them the right to be angry at a professional ball player when he complains that he’s spent 150 days away from his family.

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