Post # 1
A thread I saw recently offering advice to the 15 year old self, plus an ongoing thread of 40+ wondering about the wisdom that comes with age, made me wonder about this. How much changes in our mid-30’s and up? Is there really less drama? Are we more confident, or at least too busy or tired to care what others think?
The first bit of advice for my younger self I can think of is to stop investing so much in friendships with people who don’t return the feeling. I’ve let some really toxic people be a damper on my life, often for much too long before I had the courage to leave them behind.
What is your advice for your 20’s self?
Post # 3
Save your money!!!! Honestly house’s, cars, weddings and kids don’t come cheep.
Post # 4
@BelleriverBride: I’m 23 and I’m feeling the pinch of that..
Post # 5
You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. This is so important. I didn’t realize until I was older (32) that I’ve spent so much time comparing myself to others. I still do it, just acknowledge it now and try to prevent it.
Also as soon as you have a job, aggressively save for retirement. You make your BIG money in your 20s due to compound interest.
Post # 6
Enjoy your beautiful YOUTHFUL skin! Don’t blow your money, SAVE IT!
Have TONS of sex.
Oh, and SAVE MONEY!!!!!
Post # 7
I love my thirties, but sometimes I wish I had a time machine and could go back and slap some sense into my younger self. My advice would be,
1. Don’t let popular culture brainwash you.
2. Rise above victimhood and self-pity.
3. Motherhood is an honor.
4. Don’t hold grudges.
5. Wealth doesn’t make you greedy.
6. Don’t do things that make you miserable, only to please others.
Post # 8
I wish I had learned a little earlier how important it is to consider other people’s perspectives. I would have been a better relationship partner much sooner, and I would have been more effective at work too.
Post # 9
Oh, I have some doozy lessons from being engaged in my early 20’s.
– controling behaviour is not a sign that he loves you, it’s a form of abuse
– insecurity is something you have to fix for yourself, it’s not something someone can fix for you
– no, not everybody fights. I haven’t ‘fought’ with a partner since I was 28. Had disagreements that we worked out calmly and rationally, but never any insults, yelling, swearing or any of that business.
– put yourself in a position where you can take care of yourself and be completely self-sufficient if need be. If things turn to shit, at least you will have options.
– a good relationship encourages you to follow your dreams and live up to your full potential. It doesn’t hold you back.
– know when to cut your losses and call it quits.
– it’s better to be single than to stay with an asshole.
– it’s a big world out there. Go see it before work, finances, and family make it much harder to do.
Post # 10
I thought of another, and it took me a while to figure this one out:
There’s no such thing as wasted time. All that time it takes to get where you want to be? Jobs you hated but had to work while working towards the big dream? Crappy apartments and roommates while saving for your house? All experiences that were worth something. The detours and setbacks have been the most interesting parts of my life.
Post # 11
All good stuff-mostly what I would say too:
Get educated early on about finances and saving money. Figure out the stock market and learn how to invest wisely.
Don’t waste time in toxic relationships or friendships. Learn when to move on and not waste time or mental energy. Not every relationship is worth saving.
Be an optimist-people who are “lucky” are really just people who see a good opportunity and grab it.
Don’t be defensive. Own your mistakes and your behavior toward others.
If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, listen your gut!
Be more accepting of people and their flaws. It’s not always personal or about you.
And lastly, Road Rage will get you nowhere. Literally. Lol
Post # 12
Ah, thought of another.
Don’t ever diminish yourself for a man. Don’t pretend not to know things you know, don’t pretend you can’t do things you can do. If he needs you to be less than you are in order to feel masculine, then you’ll spend your whole life trapped between the choice of making him happy, or fulfilling your true potential.
Post # 13
I am 24 and I just added this post to my favorites so I can come back to it and read it later, great advice ladies!
Post # 14
I’d say, “Break up with him! Don’t date the next one, and change your major!”
Post # 15
STOP WORRYING – you will find your Mr. Right. It will just take you a bit more time.
“Don’t go back to that loser”. I had an ex that I went back and forth with for seven years. I wish I would have stayed broken up with him the FIRST time we split.
Post # 16
When its “right” you just “know”… working on a relationship doesnt make it better, it makes it fake. When its real you just click.
Toxic people will never change.
Save your money for the finer things (less brand names and booze nights… and more trips and luxury items).
Always have a back up plan. Something can happen in the blink of and eye, you fault or not, it still happens. Have a plan B for every avenue.