- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I’m looking for a little advice on either being patient or some good points to bring to my husband about starting to TTC. This is quite a bit of backround on our situation so I’m sorry if it’s a bit long & boring!!! But any advice is appreciated 🙂
I just turned 36 & my husband is 39. We were together for 10 years before getting married 3 months ago. I haven’t been on birth control at all during our relationship but we almost always used condoms until we were engaged and now we have just been doing the PO method. We started doing that because we figured if there was a happy “accident” that we were in a safe place in our lives for that & we would no longer have to question when is the “right time”. But considering we haven’t had any accidents in 10 years, I am a little concerned as to weather or not we are even able to conceive.
We were pretty young when we first met, we weren’t sure if we wanted kids or not, but over the last few years, we have decide we do. I have a full time job with a great company, full benefits for both of us & a pretty good paycheck although my job is very draining. My husband has a double MFA in creative writing. He has been very successful with publications over the last few years and is just beginning to look for work as a professor which is his dream job. It is really hard to get work in teaching right now and he knows that. Right now, he run’s a machine shop with his father & makes about the same as I do minus the benefits. We have owned our house for 4 years (although we’d like to upgrade soon) and we have a decent amount in savings.
My job is physically draining me right now. I work long, inconsistant hours and I think it would be really hard to work there full time with a baby, but I know I would get pretty decent maternity leave and would very likely have the option of staying there as a part time employee & could keep the benefits.
So, I feel like I am ready to start trying. I keep hearing people my age say that they had a hard time getting pregnant right away, for most of them, it took 1-2 years & they wished they started trying sooner. I am also a little concerned about being an older parent between the possibly physical complications for the baby & myself and the idea of being close to 60 when my child graduates highschool!! My husband however wants to wait until he has a teaching job secured. I understand his concern for wanting to feel secure in his job and I believe he is afraid that if we have a baby now, he will lose the focus he needs to get the right job.
I guess I’m writing because I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to pressure him, I think it’s really important for both of us to want to do it. But I’m having a hard time because it is my body that would be going through a lot and I have no idea how I will feel as I get older. The idea of waiting until I’m almost 40 sounds kind of scary to me. I have told him how I feel about that but I’m not sure he really understands. My Dad is also 70 and has health problems and I want him to be around to meet his grandchild if we have one.
I guess what I’m looking for is some stories of people who were a little older when they had their first child or some WWYD advice in this situation? Is it reasonable to wait another few years until my husband has a full time job, or are we OK with what we have now? He may or may not get a job right away and my fear is that it will take a year or two, then another year or two to get pregnant which means me at 40…