(Closed) 37 OOT guests; do we have to invite everyone to rehearsal dinner?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@loveknows:  If you have a ton of Out of Town guests, it’s perfectly acceptable not to invite them.  We would have approximately 125 guests at our Rehearsal Dinner if we invited all the Out of Town guests, so that just isn’t going to happen.  Your guests will understand.

Post # 4
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have a LOT of out of town guests (like 75-100) so we are just doing immediate family, bridal party + their dates, and grandparents for the Rehearsal Dinner.

Post # 5
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a lot of Out of Town guests and we only invited immediate family and the bridal party with guests to our rehearsal dinner.  Our Out of Town guests were fine and made their own arrangements.  They are coming for your wedding don’t feel like you have to entertain them the whole time they are visiting!

Post # 6
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I feel no obligation personally to invite out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner.  They aren’t “rehearsing” so they don’t need to be there

Post # 7
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so happy to see this thread because I am worrying about the same thing. FI’s sister got married this year and her Rehearsal Dinner was around 100 people!! I was really hoping we wouldn’t be expected to do something like that because it seems excessive to me. I’d rather just stick with anyone who’s actually IN the wedding. Glad there are other bees who feel the same way 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am in a similar situation. I was always told (even on here) that inviting everyone is what you are supposed to do. I can’t afford that, and I did not want to pick and choose who could come and who couldn’t.  So instead we opted not to have one! 

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

When my cousin got married, both families were Out of Town. So they decided to throw their rehearsal dinner at their house, invited Out of Town guests and his parents, instead of paying for the dinner bought him the big grill he wanted. lol

I actually liked it because it was nice and informal and he got to talk with more of his guests than he would have at the actual wedding.

But do you have to invite them. No definately not, especially if its not in your budget. I doubt anyone would be upset.

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would say no you don’t have to invite them. The rehearsal dinner can be just for the bridal party and immediate family.

Post # 12
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have a significant number of Out of Town guests (appx. 100 with 40 of them as part of the bridal party or our immediate family) but can’t afford to feed them all at the Rehearsal Dinner, so we’re compromising and having the Rehearsal Dinner with a welcome party cocktail hour afterwards where the restaurant is serving beer and wine for an hour or two afterwards.  That way, people can come if they want to relax after traveling (but they don’t have to) and we’re spending considerably less than what it would cost to feed them and give them drinks. 

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I do NOT have a significant number of Out of Town guests and I’m still not inviting them to the Rehearsal Dinner.  🙂  Only those in attendance at the rehearsal are being invited to the dinner.  We’re paying for it ourselves, and it’s also starting at 430pm thanks to a 3-4p rehearsal, so its very possible many guests will still be traveling.

Post # 14
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think it’s necessary, especially if that would mean a ton of extra people. If I invited all of our Out of Town guests, that would be 30-40 extra people! Then it would make the rehearsal dinner basically another reception. 

Post # 15
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We had probably 50-75 Out of Town guests, and we did not invite them to the rehearsal. We had grandparents come to our rehearsal, but there was no way that we could afford it. PLus if you invite all of them, they are going to know exactly what to expect the same day. To me the less amount of people were there the better!

Post # 16
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh, y’all are awesome! We were just having a conversation about the Rehearsal Dinner with his parents this past weekend, and my guy was freaking out about having to invite too many people! This is so comforting to know that others have done just bridal party and immediate family and grandparents! Thanks!

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