(Closed) 38 year old partner not sure if he wants kids POLL

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I move on?
    Yes, your relationship goals are incompatible : (123 votes)
    75 %
    Maybe, sleep on it and discuss things some more over time : (39 votes)
    24 %
    No, lots of men are unsure about kids until they have their own : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9588 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Always follow your gut instinct. Dont get in the same position as your last relationship. Get out now.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    If having kids is a dealbreaker for you, then I probably wouldn’t waste my time on him. This coming from an outsider who doesn’t have emotions involved. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee

    Having previously left a relationship because he changed his mind about kids (after a MUCH longer time than 5 months), I’d sadly say to end things now before you get more involved. If he’s saying now that he doesn’t want kids I wouldn’t bank on his changing his mind. I’m sorry. 🙁

    Post # 7
    Member
    14987 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I wouldn’t jump to “leave” after a single conversation that ended in him getting fustrated and giving the “safer” answer just to end the conversation.  But I would definitely bring it up again in a calmer environment (and maybe not try to attack him by saying a 38 yr old man should know, no matter how true you may believe that statement to be) and get a “real” answer from him.  If he’s not 100% sure he wants kids, then I would leave.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9683 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would move on.

    Expecting a guy to change his mind after the baby arrives is a great way to breed a lot of resentment in a relationship.

    Post # 10
    Member
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    ne11y23 :  Your friend is an idiot. My husband was ready for kids long before me and was so excited to become a dad. He is an extremely involved parent and I couldn’t imagine having a child with somebody who wasn’t bothered. 

    You need to find someone who wants the same things as you. It will be hard to leave but will only get harder the longer you wait. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1342 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m not trying to argue with your feelings, but my initial reaction is that after only 5 months you can’t love someone enough for this to really be worth it. 

    You’re right – at 38 he really should know if he wants kids to be in his future. And most importantly he shouldn’t be getting frustrated about having a discussion as important as this, considering both your ages. He should be giving it attention and consideration, not a brush off. 

    I would feel unsure of dating anyone that brushed off such imporatant things at 38 years old. 

    As you are 100% in wanting them, and only been together 5 months, I would end the relationship and find someone more in synch with your life goals. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee

    ne11y23 :  Personally I wouldn’t wait around to find out IF he changes his mind. You deserve to be with someone who excitedly shares your vision for the future.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    ne11y23 :  That’s not true. Your friend is wrong. 

    The topic ‘38 year old partner not sure if he wants kids POLL’ is closed to new replies.

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