(Closed) 3b Hair – Conflict between Bride and Bridesmaid!

posted 5 years ago in Beauty
Post # 2
46978 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

mrsherbert:  If a bride is demanding certain hairstyles (or makeup) then she pays. I would tell her that I understand that she has a vision, but it’s simply not going to work for me.

Post # 3
9021 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


tell her, if she wants your hair a certain way, she can pay for it. otherwise, you are wearing your hair how you want.

Post # 4
5226 posts
Bee Keeper

mrsherbert:  Every girlfriend I’ve ever had that is biracial had beautiful curly hair. I say go natural. I think women are most beautiful when they are comfortable with themselves. If that is how you are comfortable, rock those curls!

Post # 7
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This is wrong on so many levels! Firstly, brides really shouldn’t be dictating hair rules beyond, for example, suggesting that she’d like everyone’s hair worn up or down. To attempt to interfere with your beautiful, natural hair – and treat it in a way that could cause damage – goes way beyond Bridezilla. 

Stick to your guns. Say you are happy to go with any style of choice but you cannot and will not attempt to torture your hair into unnatural submission by trying to change its basic characteristics.

Post # 8
2016 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have the same hair-type, so I feel your pain. I agree with PPs, if she is demanding you wear your hair a certain way, she needs to pay for it. Then, maybe once you’ve had the “trial” done, she will see that your hair doesn’t straighten well and relent? If she refuses to pay and still insists on you straightening your hair, you may need to start considering whether or not you’d be willing to step down.

Post # 9
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

mrsherbert:  The bride is being ridiculous.  I have naturally straight hair and I wouldn’t even straighten it and wear it like that in a humid climate like the Caribbean!  I’d go wavy just so it wouldn’t get messed up.  From what I’ve heard it is also damaging to straighten curly hair, and if you do it too often you’ll ruin the natural curl pattern.  Don’t give in to this demand.  

Post # 10
3390 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have a lot to say about a friend who would even request/require something like that. Why doesn’t she have you lighten your skin as well? But, let me leave that alone for now…

Actually, regardless of time commitment or expense I wouldn’t be risking heat damage by flat ironing my hair and especially not because someone else told me to. You can slick your hair into a bun with gel. Even throw a flower in it for effect. Other than that, if you still want to be in this unreasonable lady’s wedding, can you wear a straight weave?

Post # 11
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If she’ll pay for it, then I’d try it. If not, screw that noise.

Post # 13
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wow the bride is being s bit demanding. 


I would just (politely) let her know that your hair is going to get damaged if you have it straightened (more than once) for 2+ hours and that you wouldn’t want to damage your natural curls just for one day. 


And if she wants her BMs to have a particular hairstyle she should pay for any and all things related to that hairstyle. 

Post # 14
1244 posts
Bumble bee

mrsherbert:  I totally get it. Not only is it expensive and time consuming, straightening curly hair can be extremely damaging. You’d be risking permanent damage to your natural texture. I suggest going back to the bride with pictures/options that works with your hair texture, not against it. If she insists on your hair being straight, tell her how much it would cost her to get you a lacefront wig or weave. 

Post # 15
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I was raised in the Caribbean (Puerto Rico) and have naturally curly hair and can confirm that trying to wear straight hair was a nightmare for me every time, even in the winter, which is less humid there.  I also have a problem with her unreasonable and to some extent disrespectful demands.  If she keeps insisting I would tell her I go as I see fit or I’m not going.  I would definitely ponder my friendship with this person at this point.

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