(Closed) 3rd degree tear and sex

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You dont have to have sex at 6 weeks it hurt too bad for me we had to wait until 8 weeks. If it hurts do not do it you can make it worse!

Post # 4
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If your not ready in 2 weeks, don’t have sex. There is no rule for when you’re supposed to have sex post partum. I only had a first degree tear and although I was probably physically ready about 5 weeks after, I wasn’t emotionally ready until about 2 months after. So we just waited.

Post # 5
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just because you are cleared to have sex in two weeks doesn’t mean you HAVE to have sex at that time. The clearance is mainly giving you the thumbs up on whenever YOU feel ready to have sex from that point on. I wouldn’t rush it, especially if you are sore after walking. Give it time.

Post # 6
47205 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As the pp’s have said, the exam at 6 weeks is just to ensure that physically you are safe to have sex, not that you must have sex.

Scar tissue doesn’t have nerves, so it’s not the tear that willl hurt but the tissues around it.  It won’t be as bad as you think if you give yourself time for healing. You will know when the time is right. Whenever you do work up to intercourse, make sure you are well lubricated and take it slowly.

You can also do mutual masturbation  or oral sex without intercourse, so you can be sexual without discomfort.

Post # 7
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had an episiotomy + a second degree tear and didn’t even try having sex until like 10 weeks pp, and then it hurt like hell. We tried again at like 12 or 13 weeks and it was okay. 

Don’t do it until you’re ready, and if you think you are, use lots of lube and try to relax (I had a glass of wine). We played “just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels” the first time, and when we realized it was painful (as opposed to just uncomfortable) we stopped and waited until I was healed up more (full disclosure I WAS NOT cleared for sex at 6 weeks). 


Post # 9
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had a horrible tear and trainees stitched me up and messed everything up so the stitches came apart and out before it could heal. Talk about painful! I was taking 4 percocet a day and I was still hurting. But I was in pain for near 6 months after I had her and didn’t do a thing in that whole time, it would have been too terrible

Post # 10
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had a 2nd degree tear. My Darling Husband didn’t try until 8 weeks pp and it was uncomfortable so we stopped. We tried the next night and it was amazing…I feel like I’m the only one that’s going to say that;) It’s been great ever since. Just make sure you’re relaxed and use lubricant. I have to be honest though, it’s still very scary to have anything touch down there (even though it’s not painful) and my baby’s four months old now. I thought I was going to kick my doctor in the head at my 6 week check when he began the exam.

I joke that by the time I feel completely comfortable I’m going to be pregnant again;)

Post # 11
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I haven’t had a baby yet, but in your shoes, I think I would wait to try to have sex until doing normal everyday stuff like walking and going to the bathroom didn’t hurt any more.

Post # 12
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

I had a second degree tear and it definitly took a bit to heal, even after the stitches left there was still pressure occasionally in that area, and even though the doctor may clear you for sex, it in no way means that you must have it.  Your first responsibility right now is getting back in the game and for many that means resting and letting your body heal so that you can take care of your new baby.  (Congratulations by the way)  My doctor said I was capable of having sex before I was ready for it and my husband was patient enough to wait.  Popping a kid out is something that’s a blessing and a chore, emotionally and physically you need to give yourself time to heal to be of use to anyone.  😀  Good luck! 

P.S- I still have feelings of pressure in that area and it’s been 3 months since she was born so believe the people that say it can take up to 6 months to feel ‘normal’.

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