(Closed) 4 1/2 months out and I’m already feeling overwhelmed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Let me just say there are points you feel overwhelemed planning a wedding. But, in the end it all comes together and if you do a little bit at a time it will all get done.

Post # 5
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know it looks totally overwhelming, but I think you’ll be OK.  We’re getting married a week before you and haven’t done a lot of this stuff.  Granted, we’re not moving, but there are professional development things I *should* be working on.  First things first, break it down task at a time and divide those by WHEN they need to get done.

I am taking my engagement photos next week and have NO idea what I am going to wear, what I need to bring, or where I’m going to take them.

Pick an outfit you feel comfortable in – maybe a simple black dress or jeans and a favorite top.  Pick a place that means something to you.  I know this seems overwhelming, but it’s really not that big a decision.  Does your photographer have any ideas?  You can try to outsource the location decision to her.

Just heard from our graphic artist that our invites need to go to the letterpress printer no later than May 15th.   / I need to get a complete and correct address list to our calligrapher.

Are these the same thing?  This seems related.  Send out emails tonight or tomorrow night to anyone whose address you’re missing.  Use Facebook.  Call and bug the few people who don’t respond quickly.  Worst case scenario, you have to hand-address a few stragglers.  No one will mind.

I need to send flower photos to my florist (so she can request the grower plant them).

I know this seems overwhelming, but shouldn’t take you too long to do.  Also, most people won’t notice the flowers as much as you do.  There is no perfect decision that needs to be researched and made.  Find something you like, and jump on it.

I need to reconnect with my hair person and discuss other options for hair just in case it is a really windy day.

This can be done later, or you can just fire off a quick email and put the ball in her court.

I start dress fittings next month and am worried about fit, weight fluctuation, not looking the way I want.

:((((  Honestly, though, this is going to be a stress for a lot of people, myself included even though I don’t really fluctuate much.  Take care of yourself – this isn’t something you can put on a task list, but taking care of yourself physically and mentally will help with it.

Fiance and I haven’t even thought about what our mini-honeymoon will be or booked our wedding night hotel.

can you outsource this to him?  again, this is something where you’ll probably be ok if it waits until the summer after guest list/engagement photos/etc are dealt with.

We also haven’t even thought about wedding bands or our ceremony yet!

We haven’t either!  High five.  You’re totally normal on this count.

On top of all this Fiance and I are moving to London after the wedding and I have to get the cat ready to travel internationally, pack the apartment, find a new job (or apply for school). Also have to figure out re-working the registry to fit with our London lifestyle rather than NYC lifestyle.

Do the registry once you get the addresses together.  Get a list of what you need for the cat / any passport and visa stuff as soon as possible. Don’t pack the apartment until August or September.  Start asking around about jobs to get a feel for what’s out there (also, natural networking, yay).  if you apply to school, it won’t be for fall term anyway.  This is one of those things where you may not even be all that able to take care of it until after you move.

This is already way too long, but it looks like your list fits pretty neatly into a time frame.  A lot of the things on the list, like picking an outfit, or choosing flowers, are quick things that are piling onto your list but won’t really take that much time.  You’re in much better shape than you think you are, trust me.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am a little under four months out now and I can say that I started to feel panicky like this a few weeks ago when I was as far out as you are. I think now it’s just really starting to hit us how close it is and it’s not easy to say anymore, “I’ll deal with that in a couple months,” because THE WEDDING is in a couple months!

I also have no advice because I am still fretting daily about everything. 

Post # 7
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

My advice is to just do one thing on your list, check it off and treat yourself to a glass of wine. During planning I fluctuated between completely overwhelmed and totally uninterested so I’m pretty sure this will pass for you. I like Entangled’s suggestion about giving your Fiance something to do. Let him surprise you with the mini-moon.

Post # 9
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Focus on one thing at a time, and split tasks up into smaller, more manaegable things. Maybe your Fiance can help with some of this stuff, like working on the process of finding out what you need to move internationally? If I were you, I would plan on hiring movers to pack up your apartment. It might cost more, but it would be worth it to have one less thing for me to think about.

As for the engagement photos, talk to your photog about ideas on places. And don’t stress too much about outfits–try to wear something that you feel comfortable in, and that’ll show in the photos!

Post # 11
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe start in Strawberry fields and move over to Bethesda fountain?

Post # 13
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@KatNYC2011:  Aw, you’re welcome.  I’m totally terrible with all the design and etiquette and fashion parts of wedding planning, but lists and logistics?  That I can handle.  Though I may reserve the right to bug you with questions about Carmel later this summer.  😉

I feel like we’re at  the point where there’s a lot of little details left, but they’re just that – little details.  They seem overwhelming but will get checked off the list fairly quickly, and it’s much more satisfying if there’s an actual list to cross them off of.

I totally get you on the not wanting to call people.  The other thing you can try to do is see if a relative can help with family members and also if other friends in your group got married recently or send our holiday cards.  I think I was able to half of my guests’ addresses from sources like that.

For the mini-moon, let you fiance know you can make any phone calls for him, but he needs to let you know the # and what to ask about.  He should be able to narrow things down a LOT over the internet.  Also, set a date that things should be booked by, say July 15 or 30 at which point you’ll be concerned that he’s not getting things booked.

Post # 14
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@KatNYC2011: why not go down to the west village / meatpacking district for your e-photos? they have those old cobblestone roads and old school buildings with a stoop you could utilize. lots of trees but low enough buildings for nice light. Jane STreet is one of my favorite’s

what about the south street seaport? or the wall street area? battery park? what about soho towards the east side? like eastern spring street? lots of cool graffiti there or down in the lower east side.. maybe try to find a street fair (the Hester Street fair down in the lower east side is a pretty popular hipster one if you’re interested!)

i’m actually thinking about all this myself because i need to take my engagement pix and we’re going to do them in manhattan somewhere.. just not sure where yet! i hope this helps you!

Post # 15
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I wanted you to know you’re not alone. My wedding is just two weeks after yours and I have a huge list of things to get done, many of the same ones you have on your list. Also, my Fiance hasn’t picked tuxes yet and we only just decided on our officiant (FI’s dad) this week and haven’t even sat down to talk with him together. I feel like there’s no going back if we don’t see eye to eye on how to do the ceremony (FI’s dad is an ordained minister and will most certainly want to include some Bible verses in our otherwise secular ceremony – eep!) Oh, and we don’t even have a ceremony time agreed upon with our venue so I still need to do that, order invites and inform our other vendors  of the exact time. Wow, typing all that out makes me feel even worse than I already did!

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