Post # 1
Hi Bees —
I’m wondering how many “special dances” you think we can have without it feeling like too many. We’re definitely doing first dance, father-daughter, and mother-son. I think it might be nice to also do a mother-daughter dance with my mom. My fiance’s father passed away a number of years ago, so it’s just the 3 parents and it seems a bit arbitrary for my mom to not have a special moment/dance. My parents are divorced (but on friendly terms) so I think that makes me extra conscientious about making sure people are honored equally.
What do you think, is 4 “special” dances too many?
Post # 2
willowbee : Keep the songs for each under 2 minutes, have them cut short so it’s not 15-30 minutes of special dances.
Post # 3
Thank you! Good suggestion — we’re definitely thinking of shorter songs or cutting them down. Our first dance is around 2 minutes.
Post # 4
As long as you cut the dances short it should be fine. however, expecting people to sit through 4 full songs along with the time it takes to switch between songs could get long for them… unless there was something else for them to do at the same time. (like drinks and appetizers)
Post # 5
I can’t think of anything more snooze-inducing than watching 8 minutes of special dances. How many is too many for your guests? More than one.
Doesn’t mean you can’t do it though 🙂
Post # 6
winterash : Hi, thanks for your input. I thought doing a first dance, father-daughter, and mother-son was pretty standard? Am I wrong?
Post # 7
IMO, yes, I think it is too long, unless you cut them down to only 1.5-2 min each.
We are just doing our first dance + father/daughter, both to cut down songs.
We will both dance with our moms during one of the slow dances, that way we both get the special time with out moms but everyone else can dance too.
Post # 8
willowbee : Maybe you could just switch off mid-song for the three besides the first dance? Like have one song with father-daughter and mother-son and then you switch out dad for mom mid-song. That way it’s only one song, but everyone gets in there?
Post # 9
Personally, I think the fewer dances the better and 4 is too much. If you really want to do it I would keep each song under 2 minutes.
Post # 10
I don’t think 4 special dances are too much at all and what a nice way to include your Mom! I’ve been to a few weddings that brides danced with their Dad and StepDad so I don’t see why adding in your Mom would be any different. I personally don’t mind the special dances, around here it’s an opportunity to sit after cocktail hour and rest up for the dancing ; )
Post # 11
willowbee : Those are all pretty standard. Some people don’t enjoy the special dances but some do, if it’s important to you then do them. We have decided to split ours up throughout the reception instead of doing them all in a row. Since our cake is going to be part of a full dessert bar, we are going to do our first dance right after dinner and then immediately cut the cake. The father daughter dance will be a little after and the mother son dance even later than that.
Post # 12
winterash : Agree. More than one is too much. Can’t you just do the parents dances throughout the evenings dancing while everyone else is up?
Post # 13
What about if you have a way that you rotate through all of the parent dances with one song and then transition to you and your new husband doing your first dance to a different song but then people can join you on the dance floor midway through your dance? That way the configurations remain interesting and people aren’t having to sit for a long time. Unless you are professional dancers or choreograph a performance, it’s not all that interesting to watch people slow dance together.
Post # 14
It’s your wedding, do what you want… but keep the dances short
I went to a wedding where they did the 4 you mention, by the time they wee done the mother-daughter dance I was bored to tears, no one paid attention and it was kind of brutal
frankly, i don’t even like the mother-son/daddy daughter dances… I’d rather just have to sit through one and then have a designated song I dance with my dad too later in the night while everyone is already in party mode
Post # 15
winterash : agree. But OP, if it is special for you, go for it. But personally, I would just do the first dance, and then all other dances can be done, but without the full attention of the room. They can still be special to you without making everyone else sit through it.