(Closed) 4 Weeks out from wedding, Flower girl has dyed her hair blue….

posted 4 months ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
5558 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

morybee :  you did good. Keep your head high. With people like this, they wouldn’t respect you even if you told them that their behavior is hurtful. They are using a child to try and hurt you. You will never win with people like that

Keep the maturity that you’ve shown here and don’t give them an ounce of your energy. Don’t react and hopefully they will just stop because they won’t be getting a rise out of you.

I agree with pps, it’s disgusting that they are using this poor girl in their petty games. Don’t punish your niece for it

You’re doing great

Post # 18
Member
6441 posts
Bee Keeper

The hair dying is just a tactic I would be more concerned on how this future behavior will happen in your marriage to Fiance.  How does he think of this?

Post # 20
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

loz24 :  It’s not poor parenting to let your kid have fun with expression. It is poor parenting to use your child in a catty way. Hopefully she manages to stay mostly clear of it…

Post # 20
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

morybee :  You handled that with style and grace, much more grace than those two oafish inlaws deserve.

And as a parent, who colors their kids hair at age 9? That’s Jon-Benet Ramsey territory.

Post # 21
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I might be the only one, but is it not crazy to let your 9 year old child permanently dye their hair? Even if it was a “normal” colour, that is really just not age appropriate. Which leads me to believe it is a temporary or wash out dye all apart of their scheme to get a rise out of you! Good on you for not playing into their games

Post # 22
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

personaperson :  I don’t think anyone is saying the niece shouldn’t be able to express themselves. But it is well known that dying your hair isn’t good for it, and that’s why most children aren’t aloud to do it permanently. When I was a kid I could dye my hair with Kool-aid till the cows came home, but I wasn’t aloud to really dye it. Just like I didn’t use heat on it besides a blow dryer As a child. It’s less about the colour and more about the damage IMO

Post # 23
Member
3273 posts
Sugar bee

Just be the gray rock and ignore them. They crave attention. Don’t give it to them.

p.s. and follow your fiance’s lead when it comes to his family.

Post # 24
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

Well it sounds like they didn’t trust you to think it was ok that she had dyed her hair  (where I live it’s pretty common for kids that age to do so. I’m sitting in a frozen yogurt store now and there are two seven year olds or so with pink hair, an eight year old with blue and purple hair, and and a ten year old with a rainbow situation). And the degree of anger you are expressing about it here kind of suggests they were right. Perhaps they were otherwise rude or didn’t handle their concerns correctly. If so…..ignore them? Since none of this is a really big deal? It really isn’t clear what you would be “standing up for yourself against” (then telling you she wouldn’t redye her hair? Them not wanting you to watch your niece change her clothes?) 

Post # 25
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

personaperson : it seems like you’re still not getting it. Absoultley no one, including OP is saying the child should not have colourful hair, I agree it is common everywhere, but I bet if you asked all of those kids in the ice cream shop, at like 90% would be wash out play dye. ANYWAYS, the hair isn’t even the problem, the problem is clearly the in-laws trying to create some sort or rivelry. And shame on you for trying to make OP sound creepy for wanting to “watch her niece change clothes” you are really grasping at straws on that one.

Post # 26
Member
7816 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

personaperson :  I’m seriously wondering if you’re reading the same OP as the rest of us. What “degree of anger” are you talking about with regard to the child’s hair? OP is not angry at all about the girl having blue hair…she’s upset about her in laws blatantly trying to get a rise out of her. 

Post # 28
Member
8315 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think personaperson must actually be one of your fsils ……

 

morybee :  

Post # 29
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

elderbee :  LOL I don’t think you’re wrong at all 

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