(Closed) 4 Weeks out from wedding, Flower girl has dyed her hair blue….

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
973 posts
Busy bee

Since they are a bunch of petty mother flowers I would have the photographer take a few extra pics of my husband and niec looking great and happy! Seriously..focus on how beautiful YOU are going to look. Don’t worry about the kid. 

Post # 32
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee

The things you say upset you are that:

1. The blue hair is a “set up” (for which you provide no evidence. Why would a child’s hair color be a set up and not an act of self expression? What would they be setting up unless in fact you care a lot about the kids hair color despite protesting otherwise?)

2. Your in laws took the dress and closed the door so you couldn’t go in while the kid was putting on the dress. Which…….so what?

3. Your mother in law was giggling. About what? You don’t describe her saying anything. We are to presume it’s the hair color except why would that be funny or induce nervous laughter unless……..there was reason to believe you would find a child’s hair color upsetting. 

4. They told you she wasn’t going to dye it back. Which is upsetting……….how?

 

You say you aren’t upset about the hair but you also literally titled this thread “four weeks out from wedding and flower girls hair dyed blue” . If that’s not what you are upset about you haven’t really described them in a way that sounds notably terrible. None of your being upset by this makes much sense unless you are in fact upset by the child’s hair color. Otherwise their behavior is at best slightly odd, but really not particularly rude.

There is really nothing weird about knowing the ages of my friend’s child’s friends and classmates and the actual birthday party happening next to me, but apparently lashing out at people who disagree with you is your thing. Cool. 

 

Post # 33
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee

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personaperson :  you’re lacking some pretty basic reading comprehension skills. 

Post # 34
Member
4229 posts
Honey bee

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personaperson :  Literally everyone else understood the OP’s post except for you. The evidence is that they were snickering and looking at OP waiting to see her reaction to the niece’s hair and immediately came at her with “she’s not changing it!” even though OP said nothing about the hair. Maybe your social cue comprehension is as bad as your reading comprehension but they were pretty clearly waiting for OP to get mad about the hair. 

Post # 35
Member
386 posts
Helper bee

personaperson :  Wake up, dear.  You’re nodding off and not following the conversation correctly.

 

Post # 36
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m glad that you’re handling this the way you are, I personally wouldn’t have done anything differently.

An aside for those saying it’s probably wash out dye, so many kids at my school even ten years ago who permanently dyed their hair for the summer because it was the only time they could without getting in trouble with the school. You just dye it back a similar color to your natural color in the fall.

OP, it kinda seems like your niece is going to need you in her life if these two are her role models. 

Post # 37
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Where is it normal to let a 9 year old colour their hair? Especially blue?

I don’t think I would’ve been allowed at school with hair like that…

Post # 38
Member
4229 posts
Honey bee

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missviolet92 :  at the (elementary) school I work at there are tons of kids with hair dyed all kinds of colors. No one cares because we have actual problems to concern ourselves with, like kids coming to school hungry.

Post # 39
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

 Is she going to have her hair done on the day of the wedding? I’d be petty and have my stylist do her hair but have her wash it with dawn blue dishsoap right before doing it, at the appt.   The blue dye will wash right down the drain, OP. Get the last laugh.

Then again, did you ask your niece of she likes her blue hair? If she’s really happy about the blue then just shower her with love and compliments. ignore the rest.

Post # 40
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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ClaudiaKishi :  weird definitely not a thing here. I’ve never even seen a child with bright coloured hair

Post # 41
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Is there any chance it’s hair chalk that washes out?

Post # 42
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
missviolet92 :  

 

Its normal in cities. I live in New York and Chicago and a very large number of elementary children dye their hair bright colors. Regularly. And not with temporary dye. It’s 2019, not 1990.

Pretty sure my reading comprehension is just fine. But you all have an interesting layer of thin skin, which does nothing to convince me the in-laws in this situation acted so terribly.

Post # 43
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Op this is concerning behaviour given they went out of their way to use a kid to wind you up. I would be upset too if I could see people were going out of their way to piss me off. 

Perhaps now is the time to have a chit with them and see If the relationship can be improved going forward.

 

Definitely not a thing in the U.K. ! Wouldn’t let my 9 old year old kid dye their hair but hey ho!

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missviolet92 :  

Post # 44
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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londonchick :  i was thinking it wouldn’t happen in the UK either. Maybe it’s an American thing? They’re very strict here with what you can wear with uniforms. We weren’t even allowed nail polish at school! 

Definitely wouldn’t let my 9 year old colour her hair. Do they let them wear makeup at 9 too?!

Post # 46
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely culture difference 😄 

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missviolet92 :  

So Future Sister-In-Law didn’t even discuss this with the kids father?! She’s a piece of shit 

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morybee :  

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