(Closed) 4 year anniversary coming and no end to waiting in sight

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Marry Jane:  How old are you two? I only ask because when you are younger, it’s more typical to wait longer. We did not get engaged until our year anniversary. We are now 27 and 29. We started dating when I was 20.

Also, why the special date? Do you have to have a long engagement for the sake of being engaged longer? If it is to save money that is one thing, but no use in just calling each other “fiance” for longer. That makes it seem like you are more in love with the idea of being engaged than actually married.

Post # 4
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Marry Jane:  It sucks when they take so long.  Do you guys talk about future plans, getting married, having kids?  It doesn’t hurt to start talking about a timeline especially if you want to have kids. 

Post # 5
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We got engaged after dating for 10 years (we started dating at age 15). Have you guys talked about marriage at all or are you just hoping that it happens? I think if you’ve talked about it and are both on the same page then you should just relax and let it happen when it happens. If you haven’t talked about it then maybe thats another issue altogether.

When we get married in October we will have been engaged for 2.5 years. Nothing wrong with long engagements ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee

@adoc86:  Yeah for high school sweathearts ๐Ÿ™‚ We got engaged at 9 years of dating and will be getting married just before our 10 year anniversary!

 

@Marry Jane:  Rather than focus on the length of dating or a special wedding date, I would suggest focusing on the quality of the relationship, shared goals and making plans for the future. If you two are building a life together now, then that is what matters most. Yes, engagements, weddings and marriage are exciting, but they are not the “necessary” components of happiness and a healthy, loving and long-lasting relationship. Communication, respect and mutual understanding go a lot further in the end.

Post # 8
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Marry Jane:  I think the Pi thing is awesome! Does he know that you want to use this date and time? If so then I would think he’d be sure to propose before that and in time to plan a wedding for that day. It might not allow for a 2 year engagement though depending on when he does it…

Post # 9
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee

@Marry Jane:  He honestly just may not be ready. My Fiance and I started dating at 15 and 17. We had been together for 7 years by the time I was your age. We had just finished school and were starting our careers. In his mind, he wanted to be making a good income, be in a stable job and feel like marriage would begin on a solid foundation.

You SO may feel the same way, although he may not be saying it. 22 is young. I am not saying it in a bad way, but many guys are not necessarily thinking in that mindset.

You should get a say in the timeline, but so should he. If he is not ready, then you cannot make him be ready. Ask him what he envisions at the “right time.” Maybe it has to do with a job, certain income or education level, etc. That you should talk about.

I understand the ansty feeling, I really do. But I found that once I relaxed (even just a little) and let him sort some things out, things got a lot better. When I finally asked him what he thought would be the right time, I was relieved. It ended up being almost 9 months after that discussion, but it happended.

Good luck OP.

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

The pi date is sooooo awesome!

Post # 11
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Marry Jane:  If you start saving now, you can plan a wedding in less than a year. I don’t think pressuring him to propose sooner so you can “savour” your engagement would end well. Besides, engagements are for planning the wedding/preparing for marriage…not so much for simply basking in glory of having the title. Not being mean, but I think you are putting way too much emphasis on your perfect length of engagement and perfect wedding date. You will end up driving yourself crazy and him.

Post # 12
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would have an honest chat about timeslines and see how it goes.. i got a little tired of waiting and not saying anything myself, and literally since i bought up the specifics, Boom.. in the last couple of weeks the channels of communication have been open, and hes been asking about rings. There is something to be said for holding of and leaving him to it, but also for having a very honest chat, to see where you stand. Just try to be patient and remember its as much about the journey as the destination

Post # 13
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would casually inquire as to what his timeline looks like!

He might not want to be married until he’s well established, and that could be years down the road!

I hope for you he wants to get engaged ASAP, but it’s something definitely worth asking about!

The topic ‘4 year anniversary coming and no end to waiting in sight’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors