(Closed) 4 year anniversary is on the 11th and I'm not excited

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@eeerika22:  Aw *hugs*.

That really sucks. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but have you asked him why he isn’t ready to propose yet?

Obviously nagging never works, and just annoys people… but have you ever had a mature adult conversation about where you’re headed as a couple?

It’s nice of you not to want to wreck the anniversary, but I think you should say something. He’ll know something is up.

Maybe you could make it less awkward if today or tomorrow you say something like “Honey, I know that we’ve fought about this a lot, and that you’re tired of me bringing it up, but it’s really on my mind and I don’t want to spoil our anniversary. I don’t want us to argue about this, but just so that we’re on the same page, do you have an idea of when you will propose? If you give me some indication, I won’t keep on getting upset everytime a birthday, trip, or anniversary passes with no proposal”.

I think that a relationship is a 2-way street and that four years is a long time to be with someone without an indication of when a proposal will happen. Nagging is no good, but you also have a right to know.

Post # 5
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe it’s time for a relationship break… to figure out if being together is truly right. That’s what I’d do in your situation.

Post # 6
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Maybe he can’t afford a ring right now… or maybe he already has one.

Post # 10
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

wow… i got angry reading al this! 4 years and you’re not ready yet you tell the girl she’s THE ONE? uurrrgg…

Do you live together? maybe he got confortable with all the benefits and none of the responsabilities of being married.

I mean, if you guys are amazing together 99% of the time (when you don’t talk about getting married) … i don’t see why whould he have a problem marrying you on the first place!

Post # 11
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe he doesn’t want to take a break. But maybe some part of you does if you’re the one who brought it up. It only takes one of you needing a break for a break to be possible.

Post # 12
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

@Anamagana:  That’s what I was thinking. I wouldn’t be excited about the anniversary either.

How old are the two of you? 

Post # 14
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@eeerika22: 

Im 22  Darling Husband is 27 and we got married after 2 years dating… so i still dont get why he wouldnt be commited to marry you and yet buy a house with you…

Post # 15
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@eeerika22:  Ladies here are always so concerned about thier SO being “ready” for marriage. I think a better question is “are you “ready” to be with me and if so then my happiness should mean at least as much as your hapiness”. If he wants to be with you then after four year it is time for him to sacrifice for you as you have done for him. Don’t be a doormat!

Post # 16
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You are so young.  You don’t have to rush into marriage.  Instead of thinking about it all the time, why not change your attitude?  You love him, right?  So live in the now instead of thinking constantly about the future.

That’s the advice my fiance gave me when he still hadn’t proposed.  At almost every “special” day I would get really upset afterwards.  Finally, he was like, “Look, I love you, and you love me.  So let’s just let that happen.”  There is NO point in getting all angsty about something you have no control over.  

 

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