(Closed) 4 year anniversary is on the 11th and I'm not excited

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@peachacid:  why shouldn’t she have ANY control though? If relationships are 100%-100% splits, then they should both control the direction they go in equally and together. Also, just because she is young doesn’t equate to not being ready. That is a personal decision she’ll have to make about herself.

Post # 19
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@eeerika22:  From everything you’ve posted here, I don’t think you could be happy just being BF&GF with your SO forever. As much as I love my man (we’ve also been together almost 4 years and lived together for 3) I don’t think I could be genuinely happy with the outcome of my life if I didn’t get to experience being married to him.

I know you’re young, but 4 years is a good chunk of time to get to know someone and decide how you feel about them. I think its more than reasonable for you to be trying to get on the same page with him on this issue-because if the marriage isn’t going to happen with him, he should set you free to find that with someone else. 

Trust me I have been through hell and back over commitment issues with by SO, I actually got up the courage to leave him (we were broken up a week before he begged me back), and now he is planning on buying a ring once he gets his end of the year bonus. I made it really clear to my man that I am not going to be one of those 10+ year girlfriends just to find out in the end he had no intention of ever marrying me, and then have to start at square one at age 30 (it happened to a gf of mine-she was freakin devastated). 

As much as you may love your man, you have to think about what you want for your life and make that a priority. You should be able to have this conversation with him without it turning into an argument. He loves you, he says your “the one”, so he needs to start putting his words into action. 

Post # 20
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@kaylaann:  +1

22 might be young, but 4 years together is a good amount of time

Post # 21
Member
2267 posts
Buzzing bee

@Anamagana:  Agreed. I’m engaged and 22 but we’ve been together since I was 14.

Post # 22
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I know exactly how you feel, I finally set a deadline. I said if you don’t propose by March then I am leaving. Still no proposal for me, but it gives you piece of mind that it will happen and allows you to relax. It isn’t exactly the most romantic way to go about it, but it does make the wait better. He was mad and hurt at first that I would leave, but I am mad and hurt that he has waited 6 years. I told him that I respect myself enough to not be with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to know if he wants to marry me, he accepted that. This whole engagement, proposal stuff is no fun…it shouldn’t be like that. 

Post # 23
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

how did it go?

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