Post # 1
🙁 my poor pumpkin! My boy is 4 almost 5, and in the last month or so he keeps begging me to stay and sleep in his bed or sleep in mine. He says he’s too lonely to sleep. He says if I don’t stay with him that he will be sad and all alone with no people in his bed. We live with my folks and he says Nana and Pampa get to sleep with someone to cuddle, then turns it on me and says neither of us sleep with anyone else so we should snuggle up n sleep together. Urrrgh. It’s not like that would change if we lived with my boyfriend either bc then SO and I would sleep together, why can’t he be with us?
Does anyone else’s kiddo do this? What do you do to assuage their sadness? I always tell him I love him even if I don’t want him sleeping with me but it doesn’t matter. Help!
Post # 3
I remembering feeling like that as a kid. And I remember my mom telling me that when I’m older I can share a bed with someone, then we went to the store and I picked out a sleeping buddy, this big stuffed bear that I could sleep with at nights to not feel so alone. He lives on our dresser now 😛
Post # 4
If you’ve been letting him sleep in your bed until now (or vice-versa) and are just now trying to transition him, it’s going to difficult but impossible. If I read correctly, your boyfriend doesn’t live with you and that you too, sleep alone.
I suggest Dr. Ferber’s book, a night-light and a lot of willpower:) But it will be worth it. You need a break and your privacy. It may seem heart-breaking but you will both be better off once he has learned to sleep in his own bed.
I have raised two little boys, so I’ve definitely “been there done that”:)
Post # 5
It doesn’t make it any easier to tell him to go to bed by himself, but this is perfectly normal developmentally. Kids tend to do the major growth/development at the 6 month mark between birthdays. Its really common for them to regress in one area or get more clingy while their body and mind are mastering a new skill. The best thing to do is to hang in there and stick to the not sleeping together. There are some age appropriate books that deal with this you could read to him- I can’t remember the titles off the top of my head though. Try an amazon search for bedtime books. A special lovey (stuffed animal) isn’t a bad idea either.
Post # 6
Thanks for the reassurance. Ugh I was terrible about this as a child- my parents let me sleep with them until I was like 6! I definitely don’t want that.
We haven’t co-slept in about a year. He’s repeatedly tried sneaking in to my room and my folks room- my mom used to let him snuggle up a lot but I got tired of her lack of backbone and specifically told both of them NO MORE!
Hes been good about bedtime until recently. He has 2 snuggle bears (one was mine, one is specifically his) and a snuggle bunny and an actual goldfish, and a nightlight, we’ve changed hisbedding theme, his bed, his wall colors, put posters up, taken posters down, all in the effort and on his promise he’d sleep by myself over the last year. I put my foot down again and said NO MORE!
At least this morning he was actually proud to tell me he didn’t sneak in anyone’s room and that he stayed in his own room all night, which I praised like crazy lol
ETA: Oh and Mrs. Sage- my mom told me that too, that when im older i can have someone to sleep next to, but that’s how I wound up with a baby at 19 ^_^ whoops! LOL!
Post # 7
@Omgbunnies: DS is going threw this right now he will be 4 in November. I’m also pregnant with baby #2 and due in October so we are trying ti nip this in the butt right now. For about 2 weeks I just kept giving in because I was to exhausted to deal with it. He just wants to sleep on our floor but eventually ends up trying to snuggle up in Darling Husband and I’s bed. I personally feel our married bed is for Darling Husband and I only. I do not like the idea of letting kids sleep in our bed. Last night was the first night I had enough energy to tell DS no and guide him back to his room to sleep. It was a rough night but he didn’t cry at all he just kept saying he wanted to sleep with Daddy. He ended falling back asleep in his room and staying in his bed till morning. I checked on him a few times before he fell asleep and I think that helped him be ok with staying in his room.
Post # 8
I went through this for alittle while.
My mom got me a cat to cuddle with. It worked….
Although, I still don’t sleep as well when the husband is away. I keep the dog in the bed with me so that I can sleep. I guess because I had grown up with my cat being a form of comfort? I don’t know….
Post # 9
I used to do this when I was little, but it was because I was having nightmares. My mother told me that I was allowed to come sleep on the floor next to her bed if I had a nightmare, but I was not allowed in bed. I used to go in there to sleep, but I would end up going back to my own bed during the night. I think the idea was that I would be less likely to go to my mom during the night because it was more comfortable to stay in my own bed.
Post # 10
Aww this makes me feel so sad! It sounds like you’ve tried excellent solutions (I was in the process of suggesting some but went back and realized you’ve already tried them!). It seems like it’s something he’ll just have to grow out of. This morning’s good news may indicate just that!
Post # 11
Oh my lord. This kid. My mom just told me he had gotten her up because the floral print on his curtains looked like eyes and that the eyes were staring at him and could she please take the curtains down. SIIIIIGH. But at least my mom didn’t let him finagle his way into co-sleeping. She said she was proud of herself for saying no lol!