(Closed) 40 something and registering…What are your thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If it were me I wouldn’t register, as it does seem a tad greedy.

I would just be happy with the gifts that people bought for me on their own. If I didn’t get any, then that would be ok too.

I really don’t think I would be asking wedding guests to buy me presents at a second wedding.

 

Post # 5
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldnt register either. Your guests may ask you before hand and you can tell them why you havent chose to register. I mean, youre basically set up with everything you need. They could surprise you with something sentimental or give you money to help go towards other things like a honeymoon.

Post # 6
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d say skip registering for the second wedding.

Post # 7
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i’m an encore bride in my 40’s & i’m not registering for anything. 

Post # 8
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We didn’t register, however, we had a ton of people asking us where we were registered at.  I suggest doing a small one at say target at least for close family and only if they ask, I would keep it to smaller things that you all want to replace.  People, especially older people, have a thing about buying towels and blankets for weddings.

Post # 9
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@tksjewelry: I agree.

If I am going to a wedding I don’t care the age or the times they have been married, I bring a gift and if you want something you can use towrds your life together, then I would register. Some couples are registering at places like Home Depot and sears where you can regiuster for things that aren’t on the traditional registries.

Post # 10
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Honestly, I would never care about how old a person is OR if they’ve been married before. I always bring a gift to a wedding. Plus, it’s nice to at least have some things on a registry you might want to update or replace 🙂

Post # 11
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2002

Even if you already have a china set or bedding, it can’t hurt to look at something new that represents your new beginning in life. I’m with the other girls, if I am going to a wedding, I can’t imagine not bringing a gift. So, I would never dream of thinking a couple was being greedy for registering. People don’t have to use it, it’s just there in case people need ideas on what to buy. 

Post # 12
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m 34 and Fiance will be 40 when we marry in August.  First marriage.  We have decided to register because most of our stuff is 2nd hand and has been given to us (most of is used).  We both never had the opportunity to get all new (and nice) things when we were single.  Now that we’re starting a life together, and have our house, there are things we want/need.    

A registry is useful to guest because most of them want to get gifts but probably don’t have any ideas.  It might be especially hard for them with you guys having been married before.  I would say DO have a small registry of things you want/need.  No one is obligated to use it.  And the people who do use it will be grateful to get “ideas” of gifts.

Post # 13
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am wondering about this too, I was married at 20 and will be 44 this year for my encore, my Fiance has never been married and is also 44.  I don’t know what to do–many have told me to register but I’m really afraid of people thinking I’m greedy or something, and I’m equally feeling bad about the fact that he’s never been married so he would be “penalized” by us not registering because of my prior wedding.  I’m torn, sorry I can’t help you but I can empathize.  I will be watching your thread for the advice you get!  Bees give the best advice.

Post # 14
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

LOL I started a thread to this several months back.  We ended up registering at the I Do foundation for a charity registry and then a small one at Macy’s for people that are more comfortable with that.

Many of your guests will want to get you a gift and registering is a gracious way of making it simple for them

At first I was like ummmm no I am not registering but then I realized I never go to a party at someone’s home without a gift, i never go to a birthday party without a gift and I never think if someone has been married before or how old they are etc – I am just happy for them and send a gift or check to congratulate them

Post # 15
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@unixfairy:  Agreed, 100%!  But I always expect people not to think like I do and be snarky about things so I suppose I tend to overthink issues concerning etiquette.

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