(Closed) 40 something and registering…What are your thoughts?

posted 10 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 32
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m 42, my Fiance is 30. This is my second marriage, but his first and even though we’ve lived together for 5 years, we’re still registering.

It’s just easier for guests if they know what to get and don’t have to assume you’d like or want something.

Post # 33
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

it is funny i came across because me and Fiance were just discussing this.  I orginally was not going to register at all.  Being my second wedding and even though his first, I was like we have been living together for 4 years and really did not want to impose on people.  But my future SIl, wrote me and told me that she wanted to take me to bed, bath and beyond to do a registery.  I did not want to hurt her feelings or anything so I guess I am going to go make a day out of it with her and register.  Ty for this wonderful board.

Post # 34
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We’re doing a honeymoon registry.

 

Post # 35
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We listed a registry on our website, but won’t on the invitations.  First marriage for me and second for Fiance. We said that the listing was to help out people who wanted to get us something but were stumped since we’re combining two full households.

The unspoken reason is that once a bride at work received a wedding present consisting of a tabletop sculpture of life-sized hands with one putting a ring on the other, cast in plaster and spray-painted in gold.  It stayed at the office. 🙂

Post # 36
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee

I can’t imagine not bringing a gift to a wedding just because the couple had been previously married. Forty-something has nothing to do with it.

IMO you can either receive gifts that you selected for your registry, or you can receive random gifts that people guess you might like. I would register. If anyone thinks it’s greedy or gift-grabby, I would think it’s more a reflection on their lack of generosity than on your alleged lack of manners.

Post # 37
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2008

we are in our 50’s…I don’t want anything…really…I have everything I could possibly need – I am going to let people know (its just a small wedding – family and close friends)  I would like to say no gifts please – I know some people will bring gifts (as you say I would bring a gift even if they said no…probably money) 

Post # 38
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We did not register, it’s my 2nd marriage and my partners first. Instead (and it surprised us) they gave us gift cards. They knew we had just bought a condo that needed work and almost everyone bought cards we could use at Home Depot etc.

I was grateful, but I would never have expected it.

Post # 39
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

First for me and the second for him and I dont want to register. I dont feel the need too..It is okay if we dont receive gifts it is not something that is important to me

Post # 40
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

As a guest I love, love, love when the host of a party register for gifts so I can pick something off the registry. For some reason its so much easier to pick an item than to just write a check for the same amount. I know people who seem to have everything so they set up an Amazon wishlist and can register for really specific things that would be hard to explain.

Prior to being involved in wedding planning, it would not have occurred to me that no registry= prefers cash gift. I would’ve given a gift card to a store where they could choose their own gift (like Bed Bath).

Post # 41
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe have a “back-up” registry in case people specifically ask and really want to do it that way? – but not publicize it at all.

I LOVE the local liquor store idea, though!!!!

Post # 42
Member
955 posts
Busy bee

I’m 35 and I would buy something for a 40 year old person getting married again. Why not?!!! I really appreciate it when people give me an idea of what they would like.

Post # 43
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I didn’t register, as my wedding is a destination wedding and appreciate those who are spending money to travel to it.

Post # 44
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think your age should have anything to do with it (and I say that as a first-time bride at 42!).

I read in some etiquette post that it is appropriate for a second time groom and first time bride to register because it is assumed that the “stuff” travels with the woman after a divorce.  Conversely, according to the post, it is inappropriate for a second time bride to register.  With that said, I agree with the other posters that anyone who is invited to the wedding is going to get you a gift, so it is better to be registered so that you will get gifts you want and need rather than a bunch of gifts you hate.  Also, I think the answer to the question depends in large part on the time between your first and second marriages and whether you are inviting mostly the same people who were invited to the first or if there are a lot of new people in your life who weren’t around to “shower” you the first time around!

Post # 45
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am a first time bride at 49 and heck yes…. I registered!  My Fiance is in his 50s – we have a lovely home and plenty of money but that is not the point.  We don’t “need” a ton of stuff and could certainly buy stuff ourselves, but there is nothing wrong with being open to receiving presents. For the last 29 years of my life I have been buying other people wedding presents.  SOme of my friends have been married twice and have received two gifts from me.

I looked into this tradition and it’s a way for people to show their support in helping a couple in their commitment to marriage. Some of my married friends said that they think of their friends everytime they see/use the gift they were given.

Ok to register. Ok not to register.

Post # 46
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We registered – I’m 54 he’s 55 and it’s the first marriage for us both. Last year we built a new house and it’s pretty sparse because I haven’t moved in yet, Fiance only has the bare basics. I think it depends on your situations as individuals and as a couple. People have asked what we needed, and I say whatever you are kind enough to offer is fine with us!

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