I got engaged a few days ago on Christmas. I am shocked (at the timing), and beyond thrilled. The thing is we’ve both been married twice before. I feel like I don’t have a right to be giddy and corny about it, or even wear a real wedding gown. I love him and I’m so happy, but I just want to get the “wedding” over with. Don’t want to feel this way…
Honey, you are a grown woman. You have earned the right to be and feel whatever you want. A 47 year old princess? Hell ya! Rock it. Love it. Don’t let anyone steal your thunder. Create your own reality and celebrate your life!!!
Hey – you wear what you want. I will be 39, getting amrried after we’ve been togetyher 20 years. It’s still a first marraige, but we’ve been together longer than many marraiges last, and I was worried about getting a “real” wedding dress, since we are eseentailly “eloping” at an all-inclusive in Jamaica. BUt you know what? It’s our wedding, and I’m gonna wear what makes me feel like a bride, because that’s what I’m going to be, and it’s what you are going to be, too.
You have a right to be giddy, happy, and excited, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Maybe the route we’re taking would be good for you, too – we picked the all-inclusive because it includes a simple wedding on the beach (location, officiant, small cake, photographer, champagne toast, simple flowers) with a 6-night stay, and was still less than the wedding we’d have had at home, even keeping th guests to about 30. All we had to do was pick a date, reserve it and the room, and tell them what flavor cake and what color flowers we wanted. FI is picking 3 songs to play as I “walk down the ailse” and as we sign the certificate and cut the cake. Neither of us wanted abig hoopla, even if we could afford it and I did not have family I don’t want just popping in. So we get a honeymoon trip and a wedding at the same time, have them handle 90% of the planning, and come home married 🙂
I was 100% not a princess on my wedding day and I wore a wedding dress. Just be you getting married on your wedding day, and get rid of these preconceived notions of what a bride is supposed to be out of your head.
I’m an older Bee too & Fiance and I are both divorced- so not a first wedding for either of us. I was incredibly young the first time I married and it was a fancy, formal affair that was my MIL’s dream wedding, not mine. I caved into everyone else’s demands trying to please everyone else & I remember it being very stressful & too many others calling the shots. I’m a much stronger & more outspoken person now, in general, & Fiance and I are having fun planning our wedding, totally different experience and enjoying it so much more! I’ll wear a tiara if I feel like it :p (lol I doubt I will, but with age comes experience and you learn to care less about the judgment of others). You celebrate anyway you choose- be a princess, a queen, whatever, and have a blast 🙂
I say wear what you feel like wearing, whatever makes you feel special on the day. And if that’s a ballgown, so be it! And if it’s a simple pastel skirt and top, so be it too. This is your wedding, no-one else’s opinion counts. Elope if you want. Have a wedding breakfast if you want. Get married barefoot on the beach at dawn if you want. Wear a silver sequinned cocktail dress if you want. Who cares! What’s most important is that you feel happy in what you’re wearing when you say “I do”, and aren’t subjected to a full and formal event if you don’t want it. Perhaps a destination wedding might be the answer as pp has suggested. Or a courthouse wedding with a lunch afterwards.
If you are worried, there are many gorgeous styles of wedding gown out there that don’t scream princess. I just got engaged at 46 and will probably be 49 when we get married (2nd time for both). My gown is going to be a trumpet style, which still has lots of flair but doesn’t have the full skirt. It makes me feel elegant but not princessy. And we are just planning to throw a party in the house we are building (which may or may not be finished at that point lol) and have a celebrant turn up at the start of the evening. My dream wedding setting is actually at night, in a tall space full of candles. An added bonus is that candle-light will be a lot more flattering on my 49 year old face for the photos haha.
Congratulations on your engagement and don’t be dictated to by other people’s opinions and expectations. Have the wedding you and your Fiance are most comfortable with.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks – you are entitled to be a princess (or a queen) and enjoy this special time. You have finally found your kind and you are more than allowed to shout it from the rooftops and wear the biggest gown ever made!
Omg, thank you so much, my fellow queen bees. When I began reading all of your responses, my heart just leapt with joy at the kindness and support that you’ve given me. I really appreciate every one of you for taking the time to encourage me. Congrats to all of you too. I’m going to “get my queen on” just as you all suggested!!!
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