- 3 years ago
First time poster, long time lurker here. Thank you for all sharing your stories, I relate to them so much. Please take a moment to read my situation and tell me what you think–is a proposal imminent or do I need to have another (tense) conversation with the (why the heck aren’t you my fiance) Boyfriend.
The Situation: With hundreds of secret wedding board pinterest pins swarming in my head and several weddings of close friends and family members looming on the horizon, the engagement itch has really hit me hard. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together a little over 5.5 years, are both in our mid twenties, live together, and have a dog together. He is completely devoted to me and talks about our future together, getting married, having children, etc. frequently. In fact, he talks about marriage slightly more than I do these days because as of 11 months ago, I made a vow of silence with myself after a tense conversation about getting engaged. During this conversation, we discussed timelines, when I want to be married (26 years old– ideally with 1.5 to 2 years of engagement prior, which means he is slightly behind the 8-ball), that marriage is important to me, and so on. With graduate school uncertainty and a great deal of stress going on in his life at the time (and still ongoing–should end around June), he basically said it will happen just not right now and took into account my timeline. After that conversation, I decided I would be silent on the matter and not bring up proposal or engagement until the unforeseeable future, hoping an engagment would come first.
The Evidence: This past year, friends and even my family have started asking questions: “When is he going to propose?” “Are you engaged yet?” etc, you all know the drill. Even his friend asked (in front of me) “When are you gonna put a ring on it?!” Considering it was my first time meeting her, I was slightly embarrassed but at the same time, my ears perked up! ‘yeah… when?’ I thought to myself. He said “Soon.” This was about 6 months ago. Similarly about a year ago, my brother told him that, after having researched diamonds for his own engagement, he knows quite a bit about diamonds in case my Boyfriend or Best Friend wants any information (hint hint), to which my Boyfriend or Best Friend said “I’ll be asking you soon.” Around Christmas time, as my family members were comparing engagement rings and I was looking at my sad, bare, pale finger, my Boyfriend or Best Friend asked me what my ring size is.
Where I am now: We have several weddings coming up that we are attending and almost all of his closest friends are engaged or married, while I’ve been around so long that I remember meeting their ex’s, their flings, and their one night stands. The Boyfriend or Best Friend has just inherited a great deal of money, so this is a nonissue. He is in the thick of a very stressful career moment, however this should be resolved in the next 2 months. Also, my birthday is coming up this summer, so that may be the time he is envisioning (a girl can dream). So ladies, what do you think? Let something happen naturally, or bring up the talk again and potentially stress him out and squelch the romance of him proposing to me organically. Should I force his hand or continue silently along, my wedding pinterest constantly growing, my ring finger growing colder and colder. Letme know your thoughts!