(Closed) 5 days before the wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Yikes – do you have a credit card you could put it on?  You’ll get some money for gifts, you could pay if off with that…. although that isn’t fair to you.  I just wouldn’t be blowing up over it because it’s going to make your fiance feel worse about his shit friend.  

Did he ask you to pay for it?  Or did he say “Hey, can’t be in the wedding anymore sorry”. 

Are you okay with being uneven and jut dropping him?

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Can the other groomsmen pitch in and help him out?

Could one of your parents (or HIS parents) lend him the money?

Is there something he can sell on Craigslist that he isn’t using? A quick sidejob (mowing someone’s yard or something) he can pick up this week?

Someone HAS to be able to come up with $123.

 

Post # 5
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley

@ArmyWife8806:  Does someone have to pay for it (like it’s already been ordered, no exceptions?) or is it an option for him to not be in the wedding?

I know it’s super late and it sucks, but what can you do?  I don’t think that you (or anyone) should have to cover the cost of his tux 5 days before the wedding, when he clearly had enough time to save and plan.  The best thing would be for him to politely bow out as a groomsman. 

Post # 7
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

@ArmyWife8806:  Wow what a dick.  So are you just going to cut your guys’ losses and not have him in the wedding?

Post # 8
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Seriously drop him. Who cares if stuff has been printed. The guy is clearly a jerk.

Post # 11
Member
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you mean a jersey from one of the NHL(?) hockey teams, yes I think that would look strange among the tuxes.

Is there really no one who can lend him $123? (And if he’s not someone your husband is comfortable lending $123 to, why is he a groomsman?). Certainly lending the money would be my preferred option.

Otherwise have him as a regular guest. I do think he’d look very out of place standing there without a tux. That probably leaves one more bridesmaid than groomsman, but that’s not a huge deal I suspect.

Post # 12
Member
8357 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@ArmyWife8806:  I think it is really hard to tell a friend something that is going to disappoint them. Think of it from your friends perspective. He has probably left it to the last minute to try everything he could to scrape together the money but has come up short.

Honestly I know weddings are expensive but personally it means more to me to be surrounded by the people I love than what they are wearing. Personally I would pay for the rental but if that was out of the question I would ask him to wear a black suit and take his place with the other groomsmen.

At the end of the day what is important is that he is there to support you not what he is wearing.

Post # 13
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@ArmyWife8806:  

 Ok, so what you should do is make him a guest. ‘Nuff said.

Post # 14
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Sugarpug2012:  Agreed.  He doesn’t have the proper attire to be in the wedding party, so tell him there’s a seat among the guests for him.  He only had ONE THING he needed to do, and that was get the tux.  Fail.

Post # 16
Member
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ArmyWife8806:  glad that’s sorted 🙂 Have a wonderful wedding!

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