5 days of radio silence.

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
6792 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Maybe he’s getting divorce papers in order?

maybe he’d be happier if I just left his miserable life

Who TF says that to their spouse, eek. IDK if you should continue texting him. Bringing up a health scare comes off a bit manipulative. How have you tried contacting him?

Post # 3
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

brown2017 :  “I blew him off for plans stupidly, and then when we argued about it I said some really harsh things”

I think you need to elaborate on this. It sounds like you were fighting extremely dirty here. 

Post # 6
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

brown2017 :  Have you been apologizing in person or by text?

 

Perhaps you should send him a message and say something like “I am truly sorry for how I treated you. I should not have disrespected you. Can we sit down and have a face to face conversation together?”

Post # 7
Member
895 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t think anyone should be divorcing over ONE bad argument, especially when the offending party is sincerely apologetic and eager to work on things. When vows of commitment are made, you’re obligated to work things out. Your husband isn’t being fair to you, and while no one can fault him for feeling sad or mad about the things you said, he needs to put his big boy pants on and talk to you about it. I doubt there’s anything you can say to make him forgive you…he’ll have to do that on his own. I only wanted to say, you’ve done everything you can, and I don’t believe your dh is justified to continue silent treatment after your attempts to make amends. 

 

Edit: Just saw your previous updates…your husband is a butt and sounds abusive. You feel bad for the things you did/said, but he’s no angel either. I doubt you would have been so harsh with him if he hadn’t thrown the first stone. 

Post # 9
Member
11616 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

brown2017 :  it’s not okay for him to call you a worthless whore. Yes, you made a thoughtless mistake, but this is not okay. Life is full of opportunities for us to choose who we are, and never is calling your wife a worthless whore okay. 

Is he in therapy of any kind?

Post # 10
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Wow what a massive over reaction to a change of lunch plans! I can’t’ believe the vile things he said to you, just about lunch?! I’m so sorry bee, I’m not sure you should be the one apologising! 

 

ETA to be honest if my husband ever called me a “worthless whore”, I don’t think I would ever speak to him again! Done done done. How do you forgive and move on from poison like that?? So abusive.

Post # 11
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Wait, you blew off lunch plans that weren’t concrete, you apologized, and he responded by yelling at you and telling you that he hated you, you’re a worthless whore, and that you make his life miserable?? He sounds like an abusive asshole. I would have said a lot worse than “maybe I should leave your miserable life.” I would have told him that I WAS leaving his miserable life, and then I would leave. This is so not okay. Why do you think that you are the one in the wrong who has to apologize?

Post # 13
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

brown2017 :  Well, this is a bit of a tricky spot for you. I think maybe tell him you will give him his space, but put a time limit. “Listen, I understand you’re upset by my words and actions. I am upset with your words as well. We need to sit down like adults and talk to each other. I’ll give you some space, but by Sunday evening we need to have an actual conversation.”

Post # 14
Member
907 posts
Busy bee

Ummmmm I’m not sure why you are the one apologizing?  He treated you like dirt so you said fine divorce me. And you’ve apologized for what you said. Where’s his apology?  It sounds like it would be a good thing if he dumped you because he sounds like a jerk.

Post # 15
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

brown2017 :  “He yelled at me, told me he hates me and I’m a stupid worthless whore.”

Wait what?!?! This is not okay. This is emotional abuse! Why are you the one constantly apologizing to him? 

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