(Closed) 5 item registry and asking for money?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@mrstilly: They shouldnt have had a shower if they only registered for five things! I personally wouldnt have gone to the shower. However If I did go to the shower I wouldnt get them something they didnt request….might as well give them te money.

Post # 18
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Some people just have no idea about etiquette.  Its amazing.  The same bride that had asked me for cash also was taken back (almost offended) that I had sent her a Thank You from my shower. 

About a week ago we actually received a text from one of her bridesmaids saying “you need to give us $50 by such and such date for the bride/groom’s DJ”.  I don’t even understand why, what this is for, or anything.  Is this for a wedding gift, shower gift, what?  It was followed by “this is non-negotiable”.  It was never even discussed or asked or anything.  I certainly understand saying hey we want to go in on this, what do you think or something like that but to just say you need to give us this amount of money by this date thats crazy.  Sorry, rant.  I just dont understand how people can be so clueless.

Post # 21
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s totally tacky to be asking for cash for a shower!! I can only imagine what the wedding invite will say about gifts! I think it’s absolutely fine that you bought her something not on the registry – that’s what people can expect (especially for a shower! I’ve never heard of giving cash for a shower…wedding, yes – shower, no!) And it sounds like you picked out a thoughtful gift!

Post # 22
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I actually like the poem, it’s cute. Then again perhaps I’m coming from the culture where giving cash at wedding is appropriate and giving gift is uncommon. If I can’t afford to give the couples the item they want/need, I rather contribute a little to help them achieve their goal. I don’t want to give them gift that would make them go “huh?” or “what do we do with this?” Since I go to a wedding, that means I like them,and therefore I want my gift to be useful to them.

Post # 23
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i do agree it sounds tacky… they shouldn’t have had a shower just to ask for money…

Post # 24
962 posts
Busy bee

@cutexkitty: I agree with you 100%. When a friend or relative gets married I already have in my head that I will spend “$x” amount on them. If that money is in cash form, gift form or some other form…I don’t care. I just want it to be in a form that is most useful to the couple. My bf and I were just talking about this the other day…. we have SO much kitchen and bath stuff. What the heck would we register for? We will probably just create a registry to be polite and because that is the thing to do. But, really, I would prefer home depot gift cards (for home renovations) or something. I wouldn’t dare ask for it because I would worry about offending someone.

Post # 26
151 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, I think this is a generational/age thing that is going to shift to normalcy eventually.  The idea of a couple registering for things they need to set up their home will become less prevalent because cohabitating before marriage is becoming the norm.  Mr. Bunny and I have been living together for 3 years; if we needed sheets or a kitchen appliance, we would already own one.

I’m not a fan of the cutesy poem though.

Post # 27
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ThunderBunny: I agree. I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked for money (for the wedding, however I don’t think its a good look for the shower). I would much rather for them to use the money the way they see fit, instead of my gift collecting dust or being regifted…IMO, no big deal.

Post # 28
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As long as you write a poem, everything should be okay. Look at this one I made up:

Our wedding  day is getting close

The cost per plate is dear

I hate your wife, I hate your kid

So please don’t bring them here

See? Poem=not tacky at all.

Post # 29
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@flamingred: This is the ONLY poem I approve of. LOL

Post # 31
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I totally think money is ok. ^_^

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