Post # 47
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I think the whole idea behind his book is that often we feel ‘disappointed’ in relationships because we aren’t getting the love we speak in.
So for instance, if somebody is in a relationship where they feel like their significant other never buys them gifts or gets the right present, or buys them flowers and little things – but he washes her car, and makes her dinner or folds her laundry.
He is expressing love by acts of service, but she likes to receive love by gifts.
I think taking the quiz together is really eye opening, because we all have something we prefer.
My SO prioritizes quality time – like you said, if you don’t like spending time together, why are you together? But since that’s his primary language, whenever he asks me to do something with him I know it’s really important to him and a way that he is expressing love (in the same way one person may buy flowers).
I love words of affirmation – so I am always telling my SO I love him and mushy things.
So you can flip it, and I know that I can really excite my SO and express love by making special plans for quality time together, and he can really make me happy by expressing his love to me through words.
Post # 48
Most of them are common sense – but acts of service isnt. My DH always wonders why I’m so happy when he changes my oil, makes progress on house projects, or when he does the dishes. Its just another thing off his checklist to him, but it means the world to me.
Post # 49
Mine is receiving gifts and FI’s is acts of service. Fiance and I took this quiz at the beginning of our relationship just out of curiosity.
Post # 50
I’ve always taken that as a given too. He hates laundry, so I do it. I hate picking up poop, so he does it. We do things to make each other’s lives easier.
Whatever works for people. It just was obvious for us as we were already doing it 🙂
Post # 51
I fully admit that I didn’t read the book. Maybe that would make a difference. However, I took the test, thought it was stupid and obvious, and moved on. I am pretty in tune with my partner. I know what he appreciates, values, and wants. I do all of those things whenever I can and he is the same way.
But I’m sure I find value in things others found useless so to each their own.
Post # 52
I’m words. SO is acts of service. Both of us have physical touch as a close second. I read the book a couple of years ago. I think it’s excellent.
Post # 53
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
yah the book is written by a guy that has many failed marriages, and he just didn’t understand why they kept failing when they started out so good.
My partner and I are really in tune with each other too, but I did appreciate the opportunity to discuss our priorities of how we like to give and receive love.
Post # 54
That’s great 🙂 My partner and I found it very, “yeah, we already do that.” Maybe the book is worth a read as I am sure the quiz doesn’t capture it all.
Post # 56
Thank you for sharing 🙂
I definitely hear you. I think it’s more about what you like (from your partner) the most.
Post # 58
+1,000,000 Like this question:
I would feel like giving my husband an award if he helped me around the house
I would feel loved if my husband’s gifts showed signs of thoughtfulness.
So either my husband is lazy or unthoughtful? He already does both of these things!
Mine is quality time. The last is acts of service, mostly because my husband is a neat freak, and cleans the house from top to bottom without me bothering him to help. If he didn’t already do these things, that would probably be close to the top.
Post # 59
Yeah, I got that vibe too. The questions seemed to be skewed to put blame or fault on the partner. I know this is “intended” for people who have problems in their relationship, but I didn’t really feel like any of these questions were helpful in finding out my “love language” (which I feel is a bunch of bullock to begin with.)
But, I guess to each their own. I just hope nobody puts too much stock into this.
Post # 60
Very true – across the board.
I hear you. My Fiance does a lot of cleaning around the house too. Like you, if he didn’t, my top selections would have been different.
Post # 61
I like the idea of this, but the way the quiz is worded is really misleading. They clearly didn’t ask someone who is an expert in polling/wording to help them devise this, because the interpretations they give are completely misleading depending on the motivation behind the answer the person taking the quiz gives.