(Closed) 5 months to the wedding and we can't afford it

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@smhilton:  Are you sure you will loose 100% of your deposit? In many cases the proportion of the deposit you loose depends on how far away the event is.

I changed my wedding venue due to financial concerns even closer to my wedding date than you and got the full deposit back.

The alternative – a garden wedding at the in-laws place has been stressful in preparation time required working on the garden etc but a LOT cheaper.

If time is one thing you do have now something like that could work well for you.

Post # 4
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

im so sorry to hear you are struggling! Try to keep your chin up. Is it possible to get one or 2 part time jobs in the meantime so you can pay the rest off? can you have a yard sale in the spring? How about taking clothes to a consignment Shop? maybe advertise yourself to babysit? i know it sounds silly but any little bit might help If you don’t want to lose the deposit. my fingers are crossed for you 🙂

Post # 5
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@SharlaK:  I’d also say that the people who really belong at your wedding will understand you may need to change your venue.

Perhaps the twenty people you are talking about may not all have booked in and paid a deposit just yet?

Maybe you can negotiate with the cruise company to allow your guests to have that money as credit for another holiday when they want one another time?

I think a lot of cruise companies actually make a lot of money by actually having people on board buying drinks etc. If they think by being flexible it means they will have passengers they wouldn’t otherwise it’s in their best financial interest to be lenient.

I’d try to seek out someone from the company who is a bit above the lower company echelons – like a sales manaager rather than a normal sales rep – to negotiate. You are more likely to get help from them because they may have authority to bend the rules for exceptional circumstances.

Post # 6
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@smhilton:  see if you can waitress or bar tend somewhere locally for tips. some mom and pop places will let you

Post # 7
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

How about getting married in a park, or a state forrest? Then having a reception at your house? That could cost a very small amount, there’d be no venue fees and you could even do the food yourselves (cake and punch, or alternatively you could have a very laid back barbeque).

That’s pretty much my back up plan, if all else were to fail I would get married in the bush and have a reception at either a community hall (cheap, cheap fee, about a hundred bucks for the night) or at a family member’s/our house, with a bbq or cake and punch.

Post # 8
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Tutoring is a great way to make extra cash, too.  What kind of jobs are you looking for?

Post # 9
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That blows. We just had to cancel/postpone our wedding b/c my fiance hasn’t been paid by his job (which he subsequently quit) in almost 3 months…we only put a deposit down on the venue ($1000, which we actually paid by my fiance doing some repairs on the venue) and don’t know if we can carry that over to our potential new date…

Is your family aware of your situation? Any way they could help? 

I can’t even imagine something like that falling apart…especially knowing other people put deposits down..I would HOPE that they would at least be able to get something back…


Post # 10
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am sorry that you are dealing with this, it seems like when it rains it pours. I havent beenin your shoes as far as the wedding is concerned but I have been in the situation where I was so broke I almost lost my apartment. here are some things I did to make money.

1. I have tons of clothes. I sold some on craigslist and others at consignment shops. I was surprised at what people would buy. I also sold things like old wallets I didnt want and even a coach key chain that came free off a purse.

2. Donate plasma- I didn’t do this becuase my iron is low, but my SO did it for me to help me out. He mad about  80 per week donating twice a week. He looked at it as an opportunity to not only help me but to help others with medical needs. If you are a new doner they usually give you more money than normal as an insentive to return.

3. Student loans and financial aid- I am a student and I hate to say it but student loans saved my ass big time. this may be a strech but maybe you can look into enrolling in school, not only will you be getting an education but you can also get fin aid.

4. visit your local human service office. you  may be able to get food and medical assistance.

hope this helps… keep your head up and if you believe in God pray that he will meet all your needs and work this out for you and your Fiance


Post # 11
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@smhilton:  I am very sorry you lost your job and your FI’s hours were cut to one day a week!  Yikes! 

At this point, I’d be looking at McDonald’s or ANYTHING if you aren’t getting any job bites.  Is there any way either of you can get a service job?  What is the probability of that?

I agree, sell your jewels, clothes, anything, xbox, video games, anything.  You guys don’t even have money for food!  I’d highly consider cancelling and reimbursing everyone else within the next few years.  If you cannot buy food, a wedding should be the last thing on your mind.

Do you have cable?  Home internet?  iPhone?  Anything other than a $30/month prepaid phone?  If you do, then cancel all of those things (given you don’t get a $200 cancellation fee).  Probably stop all of those first (as long as there is no $200 cancellation fee).

Will the guests absolutely lose their deposits? 



Post # 12
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sell things you do not need. They are just things and can always be reaquired. If you’re crafty, make something and sell them. Craft shows, Etsy (Although Etsy’s fees can be quite nasty sometime), local fairs, selling wholesale to local businesses, etc. Can you sew? There are lots of very cheap “necessities” you can make — Swiffer pads and dusters, embellished kitchen/bathroom towels, embellish premade robes, clothes, socks, etc.

Sell clothes you don’t need. Craigslist, Etsy (Only really worthwhile if it’s vintage.), Ebay just to name a few.

You have a good story. Mom & pop places might let you work part time to pay for your wedding.

Donating blood plasma is an “easy” way to get a bit of cash in-hand. You can also sell hair, but this depends on what your plans are for the wedding. Jewelery can be sold quickly. If you sell any for gold, investigate the places first, you may be able to get more money from somewhere else.

Recycle aluminum or metals you have hanging around the house. Soda cans, bits of aluminum from cars or anything else you may have hanging around the house. My father once sold off a huge spool of copper tubing he had when I was a kid so we had food to eat (We were dirt poor. Sometimes we had to go without electricity for a few months in order to keep ourselves fed) but he was an electrician, so it wasn’t unusual for him to have things like that hanging around.

Can you take photos? Can you draw? How about sing or dance? Are you good in a particular academic subject? Tutoring could be an option. Is there anywhere you worked before that you left on good terms with? Maybe they will rehire. Any family businesses?

Post # 13
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@smhilton:  You got some great advice from the PP about how to make money so I won’t repeat it. I’m not sure if this would work but I was wondering if you could somehow have the cruise line take your deposit and that of your guests and apply it to a future wedding date? A change of wedding date may give you guys more time to get back on your feet and avoid everyone losing their deposits. 

Post # 14
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe instead of registry for gifts or any of that you can have others help. Other’s gave great options to pick up a few extra bucks. Are you involved in a church that might have members that need some help. What about cleaning people’s homes or dog walking or dog sitting. If you want to babysit try care.com sign up as a babysitter.

Post # 15
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013


This reminds me of something my brother and his wife did – they had their wedding at a venue and instead of accepting presents or money they just asked people to pay for their reception meal.

I think 95% of people didn’t mind at all – the meals were $60 AUD each which is about two to three times the cost of a restaurant main meal here. I think most Australians would give that much or more in wedding present money.

The people I can think of who were weird about it are notoriously stingy and let their guests go very hungry at their own wedding to save money AND accepted all the normal wedding gifts etc. These stingy people were not hard up financially – just wanting to get more than they give in general.

I think if you ask your guests to pay some money towards their meals rather than give you a present or money most would understand. Most would not be any more out of pocket than they would be otherwise.

My brother and his wife were not even in a difficult financial position – they just didn’t want to have to lay out that much money up front and wanted to have a large number of people there. They did have a BIG wedding and everyone had a really good time.

Post # 16
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sell what you can, and keep applying for jobs – even retail or fast food should be able to provide the $433/mo you need to pay off this wedding bill. Care.com has nanny / petsitter jobs that would be worth looking into. If you have any relatives who might be willing & able to loan you the wedding $, you may need to consider asking them. You could work out repayment w/ interest when you’re back on your feet. If it was just you & Fiance who were going to lose your deposit I’d tell you to cancel, but if 20 other people are going to lose money…that could damage a lot of relationships.

Now, for your regular bills which you’re struggling with…cut back where you can. Cancel cable, phone, see if you can get lower rates on things like car insurance. Also, don’t be too proud to apply for assistance if you are eligible. Food stamps, heating & electricity assistance – these programs are meant for these situations where you’re down on your luck and sincerely trying to find work. You pay taxes for these, so use them if you need to.

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