(Closed) 5 or more Year Engagement – how to cope?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

When FH and I got engaged we were both on the fast track to a wedding a year later, then everything suddenly came to a halt. He and I were both in school and things were looking up, then, I lost my financial aide and had to quit for a while, he lost one of his teachers and missed two semesters of classes, his mom got sick, he lost a lot of money on truck repairs and we had to keep setting our date further and further back. If we’re able to get married next year, we’ll have been engaged 3 years. But that’s only if. FH just lost his mom so things are about to change for everyone again.

It’s not easy to deal with. I see people all the time who got engaged after me get married before me and it sucks. The only way I’ve managed to deal with it is to think about the fact that when all is said and done, I will be married to FH, and that’s what matters.

It’s not great advice, but it’s what’s gotten me by.

Post # 4
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

getting married is not about saving for a wedding. why not have a simple ceremony and get married legally and move on with your life? if you want a wedding in the future you can still do it as a celebration for all your friends and family. you can do vow renewals as a ceremony and still wear a wedding gown!

Post # 5
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, I wouldn’t consider myself engaged in the wedding was further off than 2 years. If a wedding isn’t imminent, I don’t really see the point. You’ll find that nobody around you takes the engagement seriously.

If you want to be married, you can have a beautiful, meaningful courthouse ceremony, or a small ceremony someplace lovely, like a park. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be nice – remember Miranda’s wedding on Sex & the City? Gorgeous, and it was a simple ceremony in Central Park with her best friends standing beside her!

Post # 6
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@crayfish:  This

  It shouldn’t be about getting to have a fancy party, it’s about your love for one another and making a commitment. I would say go ahead and have a small simple ceremony, then after you’re out of college have a celebration with your family and friends. I know I could never wait 5 years.

 Here are some links that might be helpful.  




Post # 7
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@crayfish:  I’ll be engaged 6 years in December. We don’t have a date set, due to losses in the family, financial trouble etc. It doesn’t make our engagement any less of a big deal than someone who was only engaged 12-18 months. Life just happens, unfortunately. Our engagement is a promise that we will get married… EVENTUALLY.

Although, if I’m honest, it’s only been the past 18 months that I’ve been truly ready to get married. I got engaged at 18 after dating for 9 months, so in the long run things balance out for us.

I have friends that started dating, got engaged, got married, AND had babies in the time I’ve been engaged. It’s starting to get me down a bit, but it will all happen in good time. I’m thinking about putting “F***ing FINALLY!!!” on our invitations… lol

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