(Closed) "5 reasons why I got engaged before 23"

posted 4 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
993 posts
Busy bee

thanks for sharing OP

Post # 4
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Great article! and all so true.

I got engaged fairly young (for the area I live in) because I found the love of my life fairly young. It really is that simple! Even though the world often wants to make it more complicated than that.

I especailly like his point about marriage not being a “end.” I say this exact line all the time. Getting married does not mean that my life is over! Life is  more dynamic than that.

In our culture “marriage” often has a borderline negative connotation.

Post # 5
1957 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Thank you for sharing this! So true, I love it. I feel really good about being engaged at 20 and married at 21 now 🙂

Post # 6
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Engaged just after my 20th birthday, will be married by 23 when finances are secure. All I can say is that I wholehearedly agree that marriage is not the end of my life. I’m the same person now, sharing my life with my fiance as I would have been otherwise. If anything, I’m getting more human contact. We plan to travel together, something I wouldn’t have *wanted* to do alone, create a life, live together (another thing I never would have wanted to do alone) and facing the future with open arms. We have grown together over the last 4 and a half years and we will continue to grow and explore together safe in the knowledge that we are lucky enough to have more time together in our life than others may have.

Post # 7
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I can tell that the writer of the article is under 23.  Sorry, I couldn’t resist! I liked what she wrote, but I can also see that marriage is still a fairy tale in her eyes. That said, I know people who married as young as 19, and not every young couple ends up with serious problems. 




Post # 8
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

And 23 means a multitude of different things! I’m in medical school, my family went through hell the last 2 years, and I’ve done a lot of growing up really quickly. And he was there through all of that and I want to marry him. We live together and know that marriage isn’t an ending where 2 people ride off into the sunset on white horses. It’s a beginning to a life with ups and downs. Others in my age group may be more or less ready than me. And we want a LNG engagement, won’t be married till I’m 25. Age is a number, maturity and realistic expectations are a way of thinking 

Post # 9
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

The only reason I got engaged at 25 is because that’s when I happened to be with the person I wanted to be engaged to. Nothing else, just love.

Post # 10
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

THIS. EXACTLY!I was always raised that there will never be enough money for love no matter how you plan and prepare, even the richest people wont have enough moeny for love because the success of your love is not measured by whats in your bank accounts but is in your hearts. My parents got married with $200 in the bank, my mother was 21 and my father 25 and they will be celebrating their 29th anniversary this year. Love was the motivation to be successful but they didnt plan their choices around a timeline or a number in the bank. Now-a-days this would be looked down on as foolish and immature, well so be it they made it last and they made their lives successful. I guess I am just lucky to have two parents who are romantics,

4. Love is not measured by the quantity of your money.

People wait to get engaged until they make a certain amount, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that’s not my story. In my heart, I was wildly in love with my fiancé, so much so that I couldn’t wait till I had a steady job. What I knew was that when it came down to it, I would buckle down and provide, no matter what that costs me.

If to love is to risk, then let love be measured by risk, not by how comfortable you are.

Post # 11
4035 posts
Honey bee

@MsW-to-MrsM:  +1 

I agree that the writer appears to look at marriage as a fairytale. I got married at 25 and I have no regrets about it, but we did wait until we were both financially and emotionally stable. We were together for 10 years before getting married, so it wasn’t really a matter of if for us, but a matter of when.

I really don’t like those arguments of “you’ll never have enough money” or “money shouldn’t be a factor.” People say that about waiting to have children. But, quite frankly, I disagree. Do you need to be a millionaire? No. But I do believe you need to be able to financially support yourself (as in cover your bills) and have stable incomes. Why? Because one of the leading causes of divorce is financial problems. Sure, having a good plan on how to handle finances is great, but if you don’t have any finances to begin with, that would be a very stressful start to marriage. 

Is there a perfect time to get married or have kids or do other things? No, but there are definitely better circumstances/worse circumstances. I think the decision is up to the couple, but for us, we have no regrets about being more established when we got married. By waiting until we had finished with college and being in the work force for a while, we knew what career life was like, how we truly would manage finances together and what to expect. Did we 100% know everything and what the future would hold? No, but we felt pretty prepared.

The author has the right to state what he believes and do as he sees fit, but I don’t agree the same situation applies to everyone. 

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