(Closed) 5 Stages of Grief while waiting for him to propose

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

 

Awesome observation! Lol.

 

 

 

Well I’d definitely say I was stage one now, not looking forward to the rest. 

Post # 4
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DreamingofDiamonds:  LOL I was sure I was going to open this up and it be a horrible story of loss and i was going to be so sad.  VERY glad it wasnt!!

 

This is cute, forwarding that link along!

Post # 5
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

I guess I just don’t get it. I mean, maybe if you don’t have a timeline or aren’t sure if a proposal is coming I can see being agitated and upset… but if you’re looking at rings, it’s happening so why not enjoy your relationship and let it happen without going through stages of “grief”. I mean, you’re equating misery with something that’s supposed to be an improvement to your relationship… that doesn’t really sound like happiness to me.

Post # 6
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

However, the article itself is really cute. Yay doggies.

Post # 9
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

@DreamingofDiamonds: Those are excellent points, and all very true (for me, at least)!

jocember As far as why the waiting can be so agonizing (yes, even grievous), I can vouch for that one a little bit:

It is very likely I won’t be able to have kids, at any age. Children are very, very important to me. And while there’s a chance I won’t be able to conceive ever, the likelihood of getting pregnant diminishes drastically with age (and by age, I mean like, 25 and up). Getting engaged, to me, means getting married. Getting married, again to me, means having children. The proposal therefore, was VERY important, and integral to the reaching of my lifelong goals.

A lot of people don’t understand waiting, and I can say from experience, it doesn’t always make sense. But personally, waiting went far beyond a status change or a ring. It meant starting my life, finally getting the chance to fulfill my dreams.

Maybe OP’s waiting goals don’t match mine. They might not be as substantial. But everyone’s hopes and dreams are important, and it is imperative that we, as a community, encourage everybee, no matter what their status is.  

Post # 10
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I LOVE this! I feel like I go up and down with all those points on a daily basis lol!

 

@babybee92:  I think you have it right. Everyone has different life expectations and goals in mind. Also, everyone deals with waiting differently and SO’s deal with it differently (some give the exact week it’s happening) other’s go ring shopping and then 2 weeks later, he proposes. SO and I looked at rings 1 year ago….and I’m still waiting. I think the difference between waiting 2 weeks and over 1 year after looking at rings will bring WAY DIFFERENT reactions from a bee- neither of them being “wrong reactions.”

Also, age plays a huge factor as well. I’m 25 and even after almost 6 years with SO, I’m sure a 37 year old waiting bee is anticipating a proposal more than I am!

To each their own

Post # 13
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I made it to stage 5 somehow.

Post # 14
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

@babybee92:  Yes, no, I understand – I guess the idea of equating grief with something like waiting for a proposal you know is coming just rubbed me the wrong way. I’m coming up on two anniversaries of losing loved ones and I think I’m just in a raw state right now. I usually try and step back before I post when things on the Bee bother me.

Post # 15
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

There’s already a thread called the waiting cycle. Its very similar to what you have posted.

Post # 16
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

@DreamingofDiamonds:  

LOL at the denial one! AS SOON as my boyfriend first made it clear he wanted to marry me ONE DAY I immediately was like “OMG I CANT BELIEVE WE’RE ABOUT TO GET ENGAGED” when now I am more in acceptance… it’ll happen ONE DAY, who knows when

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