Post # 1
So our very closest friends (She was my college roommate and her husband was my husbands college roommate, yes it sounds like a sitcom but it’s totally true) Well we have both been ttc for a little while and we have been able to share in the frustrations and doubt together. She and I would sit and laugh and cry and the boys would talk on the porch and it was a good way to cope. She had PCOS and recently went on clomid. I assume the first round didn’t take because she was having a drink with dinner the last time we were with them (which was before we knew about our little jellybean). The recently closed on a house and are moving this weekend (not far just a new place) and of course they have asked us to help and as soon as my Darling Husband gets off work that is the plan, but….
I don’t know how to handle this my mom says I absolutely should not lift, she miscarried my brother shortly after lifting a box. So clearly I’m very nervous about the thought of going and acting as if nothing is odd. Because I am normally right on it, me and this girl have moved together as roommates 3 times and help eachother move out when we each moved in with our future husbands. So to be meekly picking up the lightest boxes I can find is not going to seem normal.
I would also feel horrid playing sick and skipping out, but we just aren’t ready to tell them yet.
Anyone have any suggestions?
Post # 3
well…i feel like mud. =[ lol
a little help ladies I’m really worried about this situation
Post # 4
Approach the subject very gently, but I think you need to tell her about your situation and worries for your pregnancy.
Post # 5
You could tell them that you pulled a muscle in your neck or back and can’t really bend much. Stick to helping pack and organize but say you can’t lift anything heavy for a few days because of your back?
Post # 6
@Jacqui90: I thought about just sitting them down and telling them but I feel like this early it’s so taboo.
@kris325: I considered this as well but I’m such a guilty liar.
Thanks for the input ladies I’ll be sure to post how it all works out
Post # 7
@ames12708: I think that you need to be honest with them… Obviously you aren’t supposed to announce your pregnancy this early, but I think in this case you have to. They would be more hurt when they found out later that you lied to them about it. Tell them now, and they should be happy and excited for you. Like you said, you have shared all the good and bad that comes with ttc… why stop now?
Post # 8
@AllieBee12: That’s a really great way to put it. I think you’re right. =]
Post # 9
If you were to miscarry ( God forbid), from the sounds of it you’d tell her about it and she’d help you grieve. If that’s the case, I don’t think telling her at 5 weeks is bad. There’s a big difference between telling your nearest and dearest and making a public announcement. Good luck on a healthy pregnancy!
Post # 10
if you as close as it sounds I think that taking her aside and privately saying something I don’t think its wrong
do you think that she will be able to keep the secret?
Post # 11
We told them, she acted very happy but I could tell she was sad too, and I completely understand. We also helped them yesterday and her spirits were good she openly talked about it so I”m hoping sleeping on it helped.
I’m sure her emotions about it will come in waves but for now I am just trying to only talk about it if she brings it up ect.
We will be helping them again this evening, I’m just so glad she didn’t withdraw, I was so scared she wouldn’t want to see me for a while, though I would’ve understood.
Thanks for all the great advice.
Post # 12
@ames12708: i say tell he you can help as long as it is light items…that your back has been bothering you and that you really dont want to agrevate it any more than wha you have done
Post # 13
I really think you need to tell them. My friend who I commiserated with while trying to TTC (and got pregnant before) was one of the first people I told because I would feel like a jerk listening to her complaints while secretly knowing I was pregnant. I might also suggest emailing her or texting her the news, or getting a mutual friend to tell her, so that she can have whatever reaction she feels like without needing to act happy for you. I’m sure that she will be happy for you but also feel upset for obvioius reasons.
ETA: Sorry I didn’t read your update before posting. Glad that you told them and yes, definitely do not talk about it unless she brings it up, at least for awhile!