(Closed) 5 year old feels like he doesn't belong anywhere :( long vent.

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Omgbunnies:  I don’t have kids myself so i’m prob not much help, but it definitely sounds like your son needs more stability in his life as he gets older. I guess the only advise i can give is to really stress to his grandmother and his father that you need to do whats right for your son, and this isn’t a personal attack. I would really emphasise it was your son that came to you talking about it and you haven’t pushed him to say it.

The courts will be in your favour if it does need to go that far so i wouldn’t worry about it too much.

good luck, let us know how you go.

Post # 4
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can keep “Grandma nights” Just ask her to come over to your house to spend the night with her Grandson. If you tell her what your son said, she should be able to realize that for the time being he needs to be at home for a while.

I wouln’t get too deathly serious about things though. Your son is young. By next week he could view the world differently. I think your task is also to help him realize that Dad and Grandma want to spend time with him because they love him, and that he is lucky to have so many people in his life.


Post # 5
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@julies1949:  I was just about to suggest this same thing, have Grandmother come over on Tuesday, rather than him stay with her. 

I would hate to change beds so often in the week too. 

Is he old enough that he could tell Grandmother himself that he wants to sleep in his own bed? Especially phrased that way, and told by him, it might help to alleviate some of the emotion. 

Post # 6
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

Could “grandma nights” be lumped in with “dad nights?” 

Post # 7
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Or grandma nights could be biweekly instead of every week?

Post # 8
467 posts
Helper bee

@julies1949:  +1.  He’s young and its good that he is developing relationships with his dad and his grandma.  I can certainly understand why he doesn’t like being bounced around, but, at 5, his mind could change tomorrow.

Post # 9
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I am not a parent, but my 9 yr old niece is in the same situation and I feel for her. She spends most of the week with her mom, a night or two with her dad, but most weekends with her grandparents. It’s a lot and I know if I was a young kid getting bounced around like that I would be stressed. I think that if your 5 year old was able to express such a mature thought, this IS how he is really feeling and you’re right to pay close attention to what he is saying. Your son’s grandma clearly loves her grandson, but the thing is, he is YOUR son and her son’s son. She is not really meant to be a main guardian and needs to realize that it’s tougher on a child to be bounced between three homes, rather than just mom and dad’s houses. Grandma can still babysit whenever she likes, but her house doesn’t need to be a third home for your ds.

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