5 years 11 months

posted 2 months ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
11348 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Another one playing the My Parents Had Had a Terrible Divorce and I’m Scarred for Life card.

Our Little Lord Fauntleroy can’t bear to be be “pressured”.

He’s much too traumatized to think about marriage.  

Right up until the day he meets the girl right after you/during you/or reunites with the ex.

 

 

Post # 32
Member
6 posts
Newbee

If he had’ve told you before buying the house together, that he wasn’t interested in marriage, would you have still bought the house with him? He knew damn well he had no intention of proposing to you once the house was purchased, and he probably knew you wouldn’t buy a house if he was honest about it. He wanted a house, and he told you what you wanted to hear in order to get it. I guess he figured once you had a house, and started trying for a baby, you’d be satisfied, and he’d be off the hook. He probably also figured that given he works away a lot, that getting pregnant wouldn’t happen in the near future.

Also, I doubt he changed his mind after you bought your house, and if he did, I’d be wanting to know why. If that reason was big enough to change his mind on marriage, then surely having babies would be the furthest thing from his mind. 

The fact is, he lied, and made promises he had no intentions of keeping. He effectively took away your right to make choices about your future, based on truth. Are you ok with that?

Post # 33
Member
4961 posts
Honey bee

Why can’t women learn to not be so agreeable and to listen to their. gut instinct and say no? As in, “no I will not buy a house with you until we’re engaged” and “no I will not provide half the downpayment on the house for the pleasure of being your longtime live-in girlfriend”. With regard to pregnancy, whatever you do, please dont apply same logic that got you roped into a house with a man who wont marry you. If you do, you can then look forward to this: “He says he’ll marry me after the baby is born because (insert random, bullshit reason here)”. Good examples of these bs reasons are: his parents divorce itraumatized him, and then there’s let’s see how we get along with a baby, or the baby is expensive and he hasn’t saved up enough $ to get you the ring you deserve.

View original reply
sassy411 :  Yes, someone will come along and make him want to marry. I’ve lost count of how many men said they would never marry and then did.- after their live-in girlfriend finally got tired if this shit and walked away. 

Post # 34
Member
11348 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
sunburn :  

He’s got pretty much the perfect setup.

Got the house, live in gf to take care of his kid with no worries about child support.  The real cherry on the parfait is that he goes away and gets to do gawd knows what.

And, he wants to change this, why?

Post # 35
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

He already said he didn’t want to get married nor does he sound like he cares and that’s bugging you. Stop making excuses for him. You definitely sound like you love him more than he loves you.

Post # 36
Member
4961 posts
Honey bee

 

View original reply
sassy411 :   Yes it is the perfect setup. Why mess with success (for him)? OP,  were you afraid he would leave you if you insisted on an engagement before buying a house?

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