500 bucks each for a shower?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wow thats outrageous! How much ARE you wiling to contribute? Give her that number and stick to it. “Hi Maid/Matron of Honor, I’m happy to contribute $100 towards it. Let me know if you need help decorating or designing the invites!”

That really seems like a very expensive shower though. Keep your budget in mind with everything else too, if its an internation bachelorette, thats going to cost you too.

Post # 3
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

“Unfortunately that exorbitantly ridiculous amount isn’t in my budget. I would be happy to contribute _______ but if that isn’t sufficient I will be unable to attend this optional event.” This is the petty in me coming out bc I think she’s bat sh*t crazy but feel free to word it however you like. I’d also like to point out how wrong it was not to ask each individual about their personal budget. A group message? Ugh. 😐 Set some boundaries now. Sounds like this will only get worse.

Post # 4
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016


Post # 5
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Heck no. I’d do $100 max if I’m even still going to do it after how she’s acting. That’s so entitled.

Post # 6
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

That’s more than my entire shower is costing by a decent amount. I would just be honest and let her know how much you are willing to contribute. In my opinion that’s is an insane amount. 

Post # 7
12222 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I would be turned off, too.

I’d say, Maid/Matron of Honor, it is my understanding that people OFFER to host or contribute to a shower and if they do, they also have input into the budget and type of party. Since what you have in mind is far more expensive than anything I would have considered, I am happy to have you organize and host. 

She was way out of line. 

As for the international bachelorette, I’d be sending my regrets for that one, too. 

Post # 8
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are in no way, obligated to meet the bride’s expectations. She should be grateful that her bridal party is hosting a shower of any sort.

Tell the Maid/Matron of Honor that you cannot afford to participate if it is held in  a venue, that you are happy to help find someone who is willing to host in their home and you expect the whole shower will not exceed $150-$200 for light refreshments.

Post # 9
3455 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d tell her you’re willing to contribute X amount and leave it at that. 

Post # 10
1471 posts
Bumble bee

Wtf?  Then there’s the cake, the food, decorations, and your gift.. why can’t someone host it at their house?  I would never ever pay $500, nope.  Not even if the money was inconsequential – by principle, no.

Post # 11
1184 posts
Bumble bee

What the hell! 

Is the bride or Maid/Matron of Honor very wealthy and sort of “out of touch with reality” about money issues? Or are they just using this as an opportunity to spend a lot of money and feel like they are glamorous or something? 

500 is a ridiculous amount, it would be in my friendship circle anyway. 

Stand your ground, as PP have said just state how much you are willing to pay and say that it’s OTT. xo

Post # 14
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

How many people are in the bridal party and what’s the total cost of this event?! That doesn’t affect the etiquette—I’m just trying to wrap my head around this ridiculousness. 

Edit: I deleted the rest of my reply because I am an idiot and misread the post. But the Maid/Matron of Honor is way out of line. Tell her what your financial contribution limit is and stick with it. She can find a less lavish venue if she needs to. 

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