- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2021
Six months ago my serious boyfriend broke up with me via email & gave a bunch of loose excuses. It was confusing because he had asked me to move in together and said I was his long-term partner he saw in his future. Well, less than a week after the break up I find out he was already with another woman and probably already cheating, and at the very least was trying to make it happen while we were still together.
Well, Bees, I was heartbroken. I had to speak to my manager because I was struggling so badly and meanwhile he had rode off into the sunset it seemed. Until you Bees knocked sense in to me, I was checking her social media and seeing what they were doing together (including him taking her on exact same dates). Then in May I made a contract with myself (even signed it, sounds ridiculous I know…) to not check their social media again. A few times I almost caved but didn’t do it.
I felt so worthless to have been left for someone else, especially someone who seemed so immature and unattractive. Then I remembered my boyfriend didn’t want to grow up and moving in together freaked him out despite him suggesting it, so he went for someone younger who is not in need of a commitment anytime soon.
I have nurtured my best friendships and realised how lucky I am to have good people in my life. I had set myself a deadline to complete one creative project by the end of summer and in the end I completed two, which I have now submitted and is being considered by professionals. I started eating well every day & exercising at least 4 times a week. I’ve started telling myself how great I am to counteract all the nasty things I told myself and the nasty things my ex said.
One thing that hasn’t changed much is since that since the break up my libido has plummeted. I still have no real desire to date or sleep with anyone, whilst I felt the exact opposite while in the relationship. I thought this would have changed by now, and sometimes I feel like I won’t ever regain that desire, but I hope it’s not the case. I have been hit on a couple of times since the break up which does help a bit at least!
Today a photo of my ex’s new girlfriend (if they are still together) popped up on my Facebook unexpectedly and while I felt irritated, I didn’t break down in tears this time. But I just moved on with my day, applying for a course to further my career. One last thing is that I recently had blood tests that revealed some abnormalities with hormones, and that while it isn’t serious, the doctor wants to explore it further. There were times before the tests that I struggled because I felt there was something wrong in my body which got me down every so often – at first my ex was supportive, but a time when I was struggling with my health he basically left me for this super-fit student with no health issues at all. I hope I can find someone that is understanding if it turns out to be something I need to manage…basically I want to thank you all for giving me pep talks and helping me. Although I’m not out of the woods yet, I finally feel ready to move on and want other heartbroken people that they can do the same.