~6 Months dating before engagement stories

posted 4 months ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee

sassy411 :  I’d like to hit the lottery. It would come in very handy right now.

But I don’t see the correlation. Based on prior experience I knew pretty much what I would accept in a partner and so did he. I never felt the urge to marry before I got to know him. Although I had been engaged previously, I did it to humor my ex, as he was the one pushing for it. I didn’t want to discuss any particulars, like setting a date, and I broke up with him. I really don’t think my story is terribly unique since I know people who married within a similar time frame. 

Post # 32
Member
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

The short verson of our engagement:  first date on a monday, second date on Tuesday, on Wednesday, he went back to Iraq.  Ten months later, he came home and a week later we were engaged.  So a wee bit longer than six months.

More detailed version:  During the deployment, I sent many many old fashioned snail mail letters & care packages to him.  Most of our communication was done via middle of the night (for me) IM chats, and the occassional phone call, that would last about 10 minutes.  It wasn’t uncommon to go several weeks without being able to talk.  Needless to say, it was not normal, at all.  When he got back, it was still another month before we saw eachother (He was stationed in HI and I was saving my time off for when he had leave).  We knew there was something special there, and if we were able to get through a deployment, then we thought we could make anything work.  Truthfully, the worst of it was when he was finally home, but we still were long distance.  It was brutal.  We got married 10 months later, and it was another 10 months before he was able to move where I was.  And it was LDR to the extreme.  Obviously we didn’t see eachother during his deployment, our engagement (10 months) we saw eachother twice.  And in the first 10 months of marriage, we saw eachother twice.  Do I recommend that?  No.  Did we make it work?  Yes….wasn’t easy, but we celebrate our 11 year “together” anniversary this month and our 10 year wedding anniversary in December, so we must have done something right.

Post # 33
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I got engaged/married to my exhusband around 8 months (military, otherwise we’d have waited longer). While I don’t regret it and definitely learned a lot about myself/love/marriage, 8 months wasn’t enough time (for me/us) to really see if we were compatable for the long haul. 

Post # 36
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

kaylarae02 :  Why would you be discussing detailed timelines for engagement and marriage early on? Could be a normal conversation but that throws a red flag to me. Are you both really into the idea of being married? Sometimes people want to be married more than they really want to be with the person. They just like the idea of BEING married.

Post # 38
Hostess
3814 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

kaylarae02 :  Loving someone is choice, but why not take your time to make sure you’re really a good fit for each other (dating longer) and make that choice easier?  You don’t have to wait 9 years to get married like I did, but generally the honeymoon stage is 1.5-2 years, why not get engaged in another year?  

Post # 39
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

My fiance and I got engaged 3 months into the relationship. That was in early 2017 and we are still very much in love. We wanted to get married sooner but he had a big change in his career (for the better) and then I got pregnant and had our daughter. I absolutely refused to get married while pregnant. I wanna wear my dream dress you knowundecided We’ve finally chosen a date and have started planning this whole thing.

Post # 40
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

We were together for maybe 4 months or so before we started talking about marriage. Granted we did not get officially engaged until last June after 2 or so years together but we felt unofficially engaged. I always knew my fiance was the one from the start. I do not think anything is wrong with a fast relationship, unlike what people stereotypically think. You really could know that soon! I am happy to say we are getting married next month. Best of luck to you too. If you know the love is there and see the future with this person, go for it. Some people will argue it is too soon but it is your relationship – sometimes ya just know. 

Post # 41
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2020

My current almost Fiance and I are together for 5 months on May 14th. We have talked about marriage since after the first month. We picked a ring around 3 months, and he moved in. We were going to get engaged in April however my father died unexpectedly. During these 5 months, we have faced financial issues (his), a death, a long 10 hour drive back to Oklahoma, during this drive my mother informed me of my fathers passing and we had to divert our destination, meeting my entire family at 1am (their first question was “tell us your political views”), jumping in and helping with absolutely everything he could. I can honestly say that I have never felt more supported, cared for and secure with any other man in my life. We have faced so many other issues and life changes and through it all, we have grown stronger together. We are planning on making the engagement official by mid-June, with marriage plans for winter of 2020. We have had arguments, disagreements and deep long talks about what we want, need, desire etc in life. In this time his father moved to Thailand, his mother’s health is declining and developmental issues with his daughter. To be honest, if we did not handle everything how we have, through communication, open discussion about feelings, reality check of potential issues etc I would not be considering being engaged to him.

I think we rushed things in some ways and in other ways we have just know that it was right.  My mother I had this talk a few times about relationships should be based on life events and not always time. Although, time and life events do go hand in hand. I would say to know your risks, use your head and to wait for the actual marriage aspects.  

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