6 months plus TTC

posted 4 months ago in TTC
Post # 136
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ugh I’ve been having such a hard time recently with all of this. Yesterday I found out two friends who have children younger than my oldest, are pregnant with #2. I cried myself to sleep last night because I just cant handle not knowing if and when my daughter will ever get to be a sister. I also feel like I didn’t relish pregnancy as much as I should have because I naively thought I’d be easily be able to get pregnant again when the time came. Coupled with the fact that my husband’s family has recently been asking when we plan to give our daughter a sibling. It all feels like too much sometimes. Secondary infertility is such a strange and lonely place. On the one hand I’m so thankful for my daughter but also grieving the fact that we’re having trouble conceiving again. I used to love being a part of a few mom groups and now I’ve had to start disengaging because it just makes me too sad to see all of the pregnancy announcements or moms talking about the struggles and triumphs of raising multiple kids. I sort of just feel lost and don’t know where I fit anymore. 

Sorry for the long winded ramble but needed a place to vent. I’m at 5 DPO and the days are just dragging. We also booked trips in April and May which will prevent me now from being able to do Clomid because I won’t be in town for the monitoring ultrasounds. On the one hand I’m very excited to finally be able to travel but also sad that our TTC plans are being put on hold for a few more months (unless we happen to get pregnant naturally which feels less and less likely). 

end rant. Hope you are all having a better Monday! 

Post # 137
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@dianaj17:  @SweetCaroline89:  Thank you for the reassurance! It was taken at 5dpo so hopefully not even at its highest…Although my BBT today at 8dpo is lower than it was at 5dpo, so who knows.

Post # 138
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
@SweetCaroline89:  I am so sorry, Caroline. That is heartbreaking that you cried yourself to sleep. I wish we could get together in real life. I also have an only child who was conceived easily. It breaks my heart to think of her growing up as an only child, and even worse, with no siblings as an adult when we are no longer on this earth with her. And the thought of never being able to have another baby eats away at me. Even though I’m only 29, I feel like I waited too long. Everything has come back normal except my AMH. Well, it’s technically normal, but quite low for my age. I’m guessing that is what is causing our issues, despite what my OB says. I don’t mean to hijack your post with my woes, just want you to know you are not alone. 

I know what you mean about the people with several kids under your only child’s age. It sucks. And then everyone wondering when you’re going to have another. Anytime would be great, thanks. Ugh. 

In no way do I mean to invalidate your feelings, but if it helps to hear it from an objective perspective, I think you have a very very high chance of conceiving soon given that you had a successful pregnancy a couple of years ago and the fact you are unexplained. I know you were worried about your ovarian reserve for a while, but with your AFC and 2REs saying you have nothing to worry about, it is likely okay. I know it is easier said than done not to stress too much. For the record, I have monthly BFN meltdowns, so do as I say not as I do lol. But seriously, from what I’ve heard, I have complete faith you will get pregnant again. 

Vent all you want, that is what this board is for! We are here for you, Bee. 

ETA: I also meant to say, that really stinks about your two friends with second pregnancies. Talk about salt in the wound. I hope they are sensitive to your struggles during this time.

Post # 139
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Los Angeles, CA

View original reply
@dianaj17:  Ahhhh! Congrats! Wishing for a sticky bean for you! Keep us updated bee 🙂 send some baby dust this way! 

I’m not very hopeful for myself this month, still testing BFN. Though I know it’s still early and since I don’t temp I could be off a couple days on my O date. RE’s plan is simply medicated monitored cycles for 3 months, we can opt for IUI though, which we might do if it doesn’t happen after the first cycle with the higher dose. 

@

View original reply
SweetCaroline89: I am exactly in your shoes as well. Currently watching friends and family getting pregnant left and right. I think I’m literally the only one in my immediate circle who isn’t pregnant right now. My daughter will be 4 this year and asks me for a baby every other day. It’s heartbreaking. Secondary infertility is a very bizarre stage to be in, I get it. You don’t want to open up for fear of someone labeling you ungrateful for the child you already have but it invalidates your feelings for wanting another child, which are perfectly valid! I pray it happens for us all! Cry it out (as we all do) when you need to and vent when you need it too. You are not alone! 

Post # 140
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Ladies, this is a crying-friendly group. We’re all here because we’re been handed a harder road than the average person, so nobody should ever feel any shame about venting. I don’t have a kid yet, so I can’t comment on that unique brand of heartache, but I definitely want to avoid an only child if possible, so I get it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting another child, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for the one you have. 

Things are fine on my end minus the intenseeeee anxiety. I didn’t test today (saving my last FRER for tomorrow). Woke up at like 4:45 am because I was so sure my hcg and progesterone would be uploaded between 5:55-6:50 like the last few, but nope. Still waiting. It’s torture. 

Post # 141
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
@lakelady5:  
View original reply
@vintagebee17:  
View original reply
@dianaj17:  thank you all for your sweet words. It really does help knowing I’m not completely alone in this and there are others struggling too. I’m trying to have faith that things will happen as they are meant to, but some days it’s a lot harder than others. TTC is just so all consuming. I probably need to learn some better coping strategies and should consider confiding in more people so it feels a little less lonely. 

Hope all of you (

View original reply
@dianaj17:  is well on her way!) don’t need to stay on this board for too long but in the meantime, it’s nice to know I’m in good company. 

Post # 142
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

After an agonizing wait, I got my results! HCG was 33, progesterone was 21.3. According to betabase, the average HCG at 11 DPO for singletons is 32, so right on track. It’s harder to find info on progesterone, but it seems that as long as it’s in the high teens or above, it’s fine. I go back tomorrow and then find out sometime Thursday (hopefully morning!) if everything progressed appropriately. I knew I’d be super nervous, but damn…this is ALREADY stressful. I’m ETERNALLY grateful for this pregnancy, however long it may last, but it’s really hitting home how fast it’s been…I never in a million years expected it to happen so fast after a 9 month process for BFP #1. I’m not sure I’d ever be ready though, so at least we ripped the bandaid right off. 

Post # 143
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2022 - Leicester United Kingdom

View original reply
@lakelady5:  hi Thankyou, my 2 girls are 11 and 7 and his boys are 13 and 10. I fell straight away with the girls so I never dreamed I’d be here 6 months and trying. But then I didn’t think I wanted any more so there you go! I hope everybody is ok today x

Post # 144
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
@dianaj17:  Yayy!! That progesterone sounds good! I think mine was 11.5 when I was a week or two further along than you with my miscarriage, and they said that was still within range for early pregnancy (albeit on the lower side). So 20 for only 11dpo sounds great!

Post # 145
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Los Angeles, CA

View original reply
@dianaj17:  Amazing! Try to think positive and enjoy that little growing babe you made. 

View original reply
@SweetCaroline89:  We’re here for you! 

I’m still POAS but not using FMU, my horrible way of holding on to hope that it could still be possible BFN after BFN. Why are we so cruel to ourselves? 

Post # 146
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
@vintagebee17:  it’s so hard. Even though I’ve typically been an anti-early-POAS, at least 1/3 of the time, I’d use a cheapie at like 3 pm on 9 DPO and then do the spiral. It sucks. 

Since I very much hope not to be back in a few weeks, I just wanted to pop in and say I’m 100% planning to reply to things in here, but I’m going to keep my updates to March POAS. My very favorite thing about this group is that everyone gets it in a way that most people never have to. Being subfertile is a weird middle ground, and I have really enjoyed all of our commiserating. I actually had to leave a large Facebook TTC group awhile back because of all the people saying they wouldn’t TTC this month to avoid a Christmas baby…little things like that would never fly here. 

Anyhow, I appreciate you all so, so much.

Post # 147
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@dianaj17:  
View original reply
@lakelady5:  CONGRATS!! So nice to see some graduates from this board and gives me a bit of hope too. I’ll hop off the Facebook page and you guys can change it to a Mama’s group!

Post # 148
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

My update/vent – suddenly not doing so well, I was coping fine up until this TWW and now I’m not. I don’t know if I’ll come back to these boards, as much as I love the community it makes me compare myself to others which I don’t normally do and it’s not great for my mindset. It’s hard enough seeing others in real life get pregnant when they don’t appreciate it as much as they should. My latest annoyance is an acquaintance who is morbidly obese (due to a diet of junk food , energy drinks and no exercise whatsoever, which she thinks is hilarious) and she just had her third kid in three years. It hurts. 

We’re in our TWW at month nine since we started but now we’re nearly outside the window of a healthier pregnancy if you concevie within three months of a CP/miscarriage whicih is really depressing. Sorry to be such a downer, I just can’t imagine ever having another BFP. 

Good luck to everyone else TTC, I really hope you get your BFPs soon.

Post # 149
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
@glitterandshine:  thank you so much!

Ugh that stinks about that person IRL. I don’t know if you saw it on the FB page, but I wrote a similar post about how off-putting it is when people brag that they barely tried for their BFP. 

Re the 3 month post-loss increased fertility: I remember my OB mentioning that at my miscarriage appointment. So when I didn’t get a BFP by 3 cycles post-miscarriage, I felt very disheartened like if it didn’t happen during these “extra fertile” months, then it never would. I wish they would stop telling people that because it makes it 10x harder for those of us who don’t get pregnant within those 3 months. I don’t know if my current pregnancy is viable, but I at least got further this cycle than the first 3 after miscarriage. Fingers crossed so hard that you get your BFP this cycle, but if not, I hope this gives some solace that not all hope is lost after 3 cycles <3 

 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors