(Closed) 6 weeks till wedding and no venue :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is it still available for you?  Did you totally lose it? 

If your parents are beating around the bush, could you afford to put the deposit down yourself?  I know that could end up with you stepping on your parent’s toes, but it could also be a stand to say “if you can’t help me, I am going to have to help myself.”  I don’t blame you for being nervous and anxious about this!  But, try to stay calm, come up with a logical and easiest approach and just move!  Best of luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It sounds like your dad thinks he’s in a standoff with this lady.  If you want the venue, contact them yourself and put down the minimum they’ll take to hold it and start the bal rolling.  You definitely need to find out ASAP if the venue will still work for you – as I’m sure you already know!

Post # 5
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Since you have a May wedding, could you find a park or somewhere outdoors that would be available?  If you already have a caterer, linens, and dishes, there wouldn’t be too much more that you would need to get.  Or would your church/ceremony site be able to hold the reception as well?

Post # 6
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow! I can see why you’re frustrated! I’d be freaking out at 6 weeks till and no venue! I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 7
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Let’s see. You like the place and it’s not expensive. Give her your credit card and be done with it. And get a written contract on what’s included / acceptable.

Post # 8
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

wow, dad. seriosuly?! i would be so pissed. it doesnt seem like he is excited about the wedding?

Post # 9
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s time you sit down and talk with them. This is really getting out of hand. Tell him how much stress he is giving you and you really want to be able to enjoy this time. If he unwilling to change it is time you took your wedding back, put the deposit down your self and plan away.

Post # 10
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

ummm in my opinion this is out of your hands really.  I think the only way you can get things done is if you put the money up for it yourself.  So just go put the credit card down if you don’t have the money this instant.  Then tell your parents you did that and maybe they will see what they have been doing wrong and they will make the rest of the decisions faster.

Post # 11
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

At this point, I’d have either a friend who just got married or a volunteer from the church you’re marrying at (maybe the ladies who do the church wedding coordination) to agree to speak w/your mom and dad.  Best bet would be have the wedding planner speak to him.

It’s not a standoff.  It’s a requirement to have the wedding there.  Maybe if somebody else who has recently gone through the wedding process or is very familiar with dealing with venues could tell him?  If it were me, I’d have my planner (if you have one) speak with him gently.   

Post # 13
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Omg what a rough situation!! Are you in the same area as them? Can you help them find one, or maybe make some phone calls? I think that this is an instance where it would be worth it to use a credit card, if you can get one on short notice, or whatever you have (savings? cushion in a checking account?) to secure a venue. You mentioned its near a lake… Is there a venue run by the parks department or something of that nature, that would show off the beautiful scenery and be in a similar location?

Post # 14
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like one of three things is going on here, and they all have to do with your passive aggressive father:

1.  Your dad is/was freaking out about the cost of the wedding.  He doesn’t have the money and getting into an altercation with the venue owner allowed him to ‘save face’…now it’s her fault for not offering him a good deal, instead of his for not paying.

2.  Your dad has issues about you marrying your fiancee, and this is his passive aggressive way of dealing with it.  

3.  Your dad has issues about you being too young/not established enough to get married.  Again, this is a passive-aggressive way for him to deal with it.  Sabotaging your wedding is probably easier for him then telling you about his fears.

That’s my two cents. 

Post # 15
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Also you are not responsible for your dad’s blood pressure.  Don’t let your mom guilt you with that.  This is your WEDDING.  It’s supposed to be a happy day.  If it’s making stress for them, that is their issue, not yours.  Don’t let them hold that over your head like you are some sort of evil-stressmaker.  THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE CREATING THIER OWN STRESS.  

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