(Closed) 6 weeks to wedding and I'm a hot mess of emotions

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

He wants to marry you!! That is certainly a leap of faith he’s willing to take…so you need to let go of all the old stuff that’s haunting you and holding you back. He wouldn’t have asked you to marry him if he didn’t want to be with you. You can’t know what the future will bring and you will drive yourself insane trying to figure it out. Instead, live in the moment, love him madly and take it one day at a time!

Post # 4
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree take one day at a time.  Your Fiance sounds wonderful and you deserve that.  You have been through a lot, so now it is  your turn to just sit back and enjoy!

Post # 5
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lorie:   I’ve been divorced and in and out of many relationships and I can deeply relate to how you’re feeling.  Don’t believe in those negative feelings, though.

My Fiance is the most beautiful, loving, kind, intelligent, sweet and wonderful man ever created and there are days I look at him and can hardly believe my luck.  I still feel like “pinch me” because I am so blissfully happy now with him that it’s more than I ever imagined.

You and I have both been so hurt and so torn down by bad relationships with men that we have battle scars.  And they take their toll, I know.  It is a daily struggle to remind myself that I have learned from my mistakes and am a better person in every way for what I’ve been through.

Rest assured that your Fiance loves you dearly and his family confirming it should give you much comfort.  My FI’s family is the same.  His sister told me last weekend that she has never seen her brother more happy in his entire life and she loves and adores me for it.  She said she knows I am the perfect one for him.  She said, “I’m so glad, he finally got it right!”

So, as much as we love, respect and adore our FI’s now, we can know deep in our hearts that they really do love us that much in return.

Pinch yourself, it’s REAL. 

Wink

Post # 6
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I haven’t been married before but I have found that MsMindle and Sunfire usually know what they’re talking about.  My take is that you’re so damn happy that you think the other shoe is about to drop (or whatever that saying is).  You will only know if you take another chance!!!!

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you need to continue with counselling to improve your self image. Ask your consellor to involve your Fiance as he/ she sees fit.

Post # 8
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@vmec:  Totally agree.

It sounds like you’re still working on self-image issues and that’s ok! Just be sure to recognize that though. Your Fiance sounds absolutely wonderful!

You’ve been through a lot but you are strong! Look at all that you have accomplished, you deserve a wonderful man. Enjoy your time together, enjoy your engagement.

Post # 9
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@WillyNilly:    Blush . . . I love ya!

Post # 14
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@lorie:  ok that’s a step in the right direction but only a step you’re realizing now that despite the divorece long ago issues are still deeply affecting your everyday life. I think you need to go back to therapy with or without coverage. Your happiness and well being depends on it.

Post # 15
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lorie:  Lori, I think you have a really great opportunity to rewrite your love story. 

Previously it was bound with personal politics and loyalties to children and family.  Now you get to write this entirely new one with a man that HAS NO TIES to any of this.  I think you’re looking at this backwards.  He treats you like a goddess, yet you’re waiting for him to treat you like your ex.  Your daughter deserves to see a good love story.  Period.  I learned everything about love from my family. 

Devote yourself to your relationship and make it worthy of something that when your daughter gets married you can look back, proudly, and say ‘you were once a part of that.  I took a chance…and now you are taking a chance.  Love is a grand spectrum of truth and risk.’ and feel good about your choice.  Don’t let your past dictate your future.  Let your future dictate your knowing that you’re doing the right thing. (I don’t own the rights to that, fyi)

 

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