Post # 1
I really need some advice. My bf and I have been together 6 years. We are both 27 (almost 28) and while I know this is young to some, I am really wanting to get engaged/married. I love this man, we’ve known each other 8 years and I want him to be the father of my children. We have had several talks about this and while progress has been made, I still don’t think he is planning to do this anytime soon. I started talking marriage about a year ago and he was not for it at all (ending in fights). He said we were too young and that he just wasnt ready. Now he is open to discussing marriage but he still says he wants to wait until our 30’s. I never wanted to be the woman who has to give an ultimadum but at this point I feel as though I am becoming somewhat unhappy in the relationship (almost insecure) that the next step hasn’t happened. We both have decent jobs, bought a home and have a very happy and open relationship. I’m sure I am not the only one who is or has been in this situation. I would really like your imput/advice and don’t worry i’m not one to get offended easily 😛
Post # 2
jesais: We have a similar history, I was in a similar situation. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this. I dated my Fiance for 6 1/2 years before we got engaged, and he’s 29 and I’m 28. For years he knew I wanted to marry him, and he would tell me he wanted it too but then nothing would happen. It’s so hard to feel like you are putting your life “on hold” because you desperately want to take the next step and he’s taking his sweet time. Hang in there. I don’t have any advice for you other than to keep yourself busy with activities that make you happy and don’t always include him (I took a few more road trips with my girlfriends, signed up and ran a lot of races, found a running group and made a lot of new friends) My fiance knew what I wanted, and it’s important to let your boyfriend know what you want. It sounds like you already have. Just try to stay positive and remember that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him for a reason! It will all work out, I hope it happens soon for you. Did he say why he wants to wait until his 30’s?
Post # 3
I think you need to have an open discussion about when you actually want to become parents. Work backwards: do you want your first kid by 31? Ok, subtract 9months, subtract 1 year of trying to conceive, subtract 1-2 years of marriage before kids, subtract 1.5 year engagement = getting engaged now.
Often ladies in these boards talk to their SOs about when they want kids and the guys says, oh, when I’m 30, but I’m not ready for marriage yet. When the Bee points out to them that 30 is only 2 years away they quickly realise that they need to be more realistic.
Post # 4
Everdeen: That is a great point! I know a few of my guy friends that say “I want to have kids when I’m 30” but they don’t realize that is only 2-3 years away!