- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016 - Equestrian Estate
Hello, Im new here… I’ve been with my BF for a little over 6 yrs now… lived together for 5 1/2. I’m 28, He’s in his ealry 30’s. We fell in love early in our relationship and knew we wanted to be together forever. We have been talking about marriage for at least 4 years. HE was the first one to seriously bring it up after about a year of dating… we looked at rings one afternoon in April, but never bought anything – just looked for fun. Then the following September we went on an amazing trip overseas. I thought FOR SURE it would happen then (so did many of our friends and family) and obviously it didn’t – I was pretty upset, heartbroken. We talked about it and he said for financial reasons it wasnt the right time. He was also deciding on whether he wanted to go back to school and further his education with 3 more years, we both work fulltime and live together. Apparenty he took me to look at rings so early on so I’d forget (yeah right!?!) and when it did happen it would be a surprise… Well since then we had lots of ups and downs, mostly due to outside forces – family members living with us, serious conflict with those family members, illness, job and financial stresses etc. Which ate up a few years and took a toll on our sanity and relationship. BUT today we are stronger than ever and we know for sure we want to be with eachother and will have a long and happy marriage because we got through all of that together 🙂 SO says that we would be married if it weren’t for all those things (and I agree) but I just want to get engaged and be married… I feel like we already are (I already think of him as “my husband”). I don’t want to wait much longer (but of course I will BC I love him and I love us) He said to me this past November/December that we would be engaged this year (2014) I know its still early in the year but its sooooo hard waiting!! (As you all know) 😉 I know he is saving $ for a ring… and I dont want anything expensive but I think he has expectations of himself and doesnt want to get one too “simple”. I have told him I dont want anything big OR an elaborate, costly proposal. The hardest part is that I’m almost 99% sure when and where he will propose – he’s too pedictable (and has mentioned the idea to friends today – I wish they would keep quiet). We are planning a trip overseas (again, we havent been back since the last time) this August/Sept and I think that’s when and where he will propose. It sounds lovely and magical but this is a trip that he was initailly going on alone to visit his buddies and have guy time, then he said he really wants me to come too – however, I plan on spending a few days off on my own with a girlfriend who also lives there. But it just doesnt feel like the right timing for a proposal (its more of a friends trip, we will be staying at his friends’ mom’s house who we havent even met) – I know I cant control it (maybe I’m just a bit OCD?) but I also don’t want to wait that long for it to happen! We talk about planning a wedding for next spring and he knows I want at least a year to plan (and save). I’m also having such a hard time with the resentment building… I even resent myself for feeling this way 🙁 It’s like it won’t even be a surprise now no matter when it happen BC its just been toooo loooong! He also keeps saying things about getting engaged and wanting to call me his fiance – which makes it harder for me cause im just thinking “well then PROPOSE ALREADY! Any advice? I wish I could turn my mind off and stop obsessing… Thanks!!
PS. I wont propose, we’re both traditional in that aspect.