(Closed) 655 Days to go…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wow. I should count the days. Does your SO nkow your health/baby concerns?

Post # 5
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Oh wow, I think you’re trying to plan a little too much ๐Ÿ™‚ Have you considered having a smaller wedding so you can be closer to “spot on”, as he says? It’s just so strange that you’re going to wait for 2 years for him to propose, if this was my situation I would choose a smaller wedding and just get engaged sooner.

Post # 7
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think this definitely needs to be communicated. If getting married is important to you (and I don’t know if this is the case) I would tell him, I just want to be married and start a family. We can elope! I knew that I was truly ready to marry my SO when I was ok with not having a big party. I think my parents would kill me, but I know that if he said, let’s go to the court house and do this… TOMORROW. I’d be on board. If having children sooner is important to you, then I would make it clear that that mightnot mean you expect a huge wedding, etc, because that might beon his mind. Just my opinion ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah that is a long time! Why the long wait? Is it because he wants to save for an expensive ring? It doesn’t sound like you two are on the same page as far as timelines are concerned, and it might be helpful to have a talk about it and express your concerns. He doesn’t need to worry about HIS biological clock, so of course he is more laid back about waiting, Not sure how long you two have been together, but if he waiting simply to have his freedom before marriage or take another two years to figure out if he wants to be with you, then I would be thinking of getting out of the relationship. That’s just me though! 

Post # 9
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Also, for some perspective. I’m only 23 and as far as I know, no fertility problems, but after 4+ years together and a plan for me to move 500 miles away to be with him, I was NOT ok with him waiting more than a couple of months after I move in to propose. I have been silently “waiting” for a year, and now that we have a compromise timeline, still about 9 months to go. I made it clear that I love him but I just cannot feel comfortable moving forward if this is not on the agenda. We also discussed marriage expectations (where, when, etc) so that it wouldn’t be that he’d ask me to marry him, I’d say tomorrow (not the case ahah) when he was really hoping for a long engagement. IT was not a fun conversation, but definitely necessary, and unfortunately if he had not been able to compromise on his plan of not asking me for another 1.5+ years, I told him I was going to have to look for jobs elsewhere. It’s just not fair.

Post # 10
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are unbelievably patient, and so gracious. When a thread is updated, you are always the first to comment with congratulations or a kind word if needed. I hope it happens for you soon. And you have a timeline. Chin up ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

i’m 18 months older than my SO so he’s definitely not on the same page age-wise as me when it comes to getting married/starting a family.

however – he knows i want to have children before i’m 30. although he would prefer to have kids at 30 – i would then be 32 and considering i’ve moved 300 miles away to be with him, and supported him whilst he focuses on his dream career, i’ve had to talk to him about compromising for me like i’m compromising for him. he’s agreed and said he’ll propose before i’m 26, we’ll no doubt get married when i’m 26/27 and have our first child by the time i’m 27/28 which i am happy with.

it’s always good to be honest and get your feelings out there!

despite still have 7 months to go until i’m 26, i’ve decided to get started on things on my own anyway. it doesn’t hurt to start thinking about how much my ‘dream wedding’ would cost – and that way i’ve got a good indicator of what we’d be able to afford and what we could have to cut back on.

plus, i’ve also started saving for an engagement watch for him. that way i’m doing my own bit of saving and can see it from a guy’s perspective.

why not start saving for the wedding yourself now? just a bit put aside each month – and then maybe your wedding will come sooner than you expect once he proposes.

although i think the REAL question here is why has he given you a 2 year mark? to save? because that’s when he finishes training for his job and he’ll finally be on better money? these are the kind of reasons i’d imagine to hear for putting a date stamp on it like that. otherwise you need to ask yourself some serious questions about whether or not this is something that he actually wants himself.

guys can lead girls on for far too long, and with a biological clock it’s just not fair for them to do that. if he really has no intention of marrying you – get out while you’re still young enough!

(also on a side note: why did you wait 700 days last time? what’s that story?)

Post # 12
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with @treacle:, start saving for the wedding now. Or plan to have a budget wedding. If your heart is set on having kids by a certain date, you shouldn’t let the cost of a wedding stand in your way IMO.

Post # 13
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

hang in there!! ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s all I can say lol. I am sending positive vibes your way so that your timeline can stay in tact! I too, stress out about when to start a family and wanting the wedding sooner than later so I’m not too “old” imo. You got this!

Post # 14
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@treacle:  I think she meant last time she thought about how many more days it would be, it was 700, so now it’s a little less. That’s if I’m reading this correctly!

Post # 15
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

@love108:  ohhhh!! that makes more sense. i was thinking he’d set a deadline of 700 days before and she’d already gone through it!

Post # 16
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@treacle:  Oh gosh, if that was the case (tell me I’m wrong!) I would say runnnnnn!!!!

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