Post # 1
So we’re having a rather small wedding…in 68 days I might add!…and I am only having my two sisters and my best friend as BM’s. FI has a brother who will be his BM and two other friends who he has said he wanted to be in the wedding. One of these friends came over to our house for a Super Bowl party and I leaned over to FI during the game and said, “You’ve asked him to be in our wedding, right?” He then turns to me and shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal and shakes his head no! I was all set to try and get them fitted for their suits in the next week or so since his brother will be in town (he travels out of the country every 28 days as a petroleum engineer) and now I find out he hasn’t asked ANY of them to be in the wedding! I’m not panicking, but I asked him to do it last week and when I checked in on it yesterday, he still hadn’t done it. I don’t want to be a nag, but he NEEDS to get this done!
These are 2 of his best friends and I definitely think he should be the one to ask them, but I don’t want to nag him every single day until he does. What would you girls do? Pester him til he gets it done (which is not really in my nature) or should I just ask them for him?! Men can be so difficult sometimes! ><
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Sigh. I totally know how you feel. My FI was similar- they just hate being told what to do (and I love telling people what to do)!! Explain your reasoning (in a non-naggiong way.. I know it’s hard) why he needs to book these guys asap. I’m sure they’ll say yes because theyre close, but that’s rude on his end to ask them last minute!
Post # 4
@lealorali: My point exactly! It’s not so much a pride thing, because he’s really good at helping me do things I ask him to, most of the time, but I’m concerned that as time winds down that they may get locked into other obligations. Sheesh! These boys 🙂
Post # 5
I didn’t vote because I would do neither of those things. I’m not going to nag, and I’m not going to do it for him. He can either get it done and have someone on his side, or he can slack off and be up there alone.
Post # 6
My husband has tried to get ahold of his “to be” groomsmen (Right now he just has a best man) but they all seem to be MIA. Our formal wedding is in June.
We planned all this in, hum.. November? Oh well. I asked my girls day two, but then again I was easily able to get ahold of them. His groomsmen, not so much.
Post # 7
@Hyperventilate: That’s good that he’s trying at least – I’m sure it will all turn out just fine! For you and for me 🙂 FI has got a lot on his plate right now so I can understand how this little detail may not seem to be that big of a deal to him, and I’m not badmouthing him at all…he’s just your typical guy! Other than this, he’s been super helpful with things I’ve asked him to do. I’ve probably just spoiled him a little by handling most of the details up to this point myself (with my girls of course!)
Post # 8
I would emphasise how rude these guys will find it if he leaves it any longer. If he says that “they won’t care” make a point that their mothers/girlfriends/wives will think it is rude and they will care. It’s a financial commitment to be in a wedding, they may need time to save!
Post # 9
Maybe he only really wants the 1 GM?
Post # 10
@SweetMelissa429: Ahhh guys are so annoying. I’m having a similar problem with FI regarding what his groomsmen are wearing.
I’d think of a different way to phrase the question and ask every couple of days:
“Has Groomsmen A rented his tux yet?”
“Does Groomsmen B know about the rehearsal dinner?”
“Have you figured out what you should get Groomsmen C for a groomsmen gift?”
“Have you invited your groomsmen to a guys lunch the day before the wedding”
blah blah blah, it’ll seem less like nagging 🙂
Post # 11
@Everdeen: So true! And the good thing about these 2 guys is that they won’t care – they’ll just be happy that he asks, but still!
@BrandNewBride: Thank you for posting that. I ran and grabbed my phone and texted him to let him know that if he wanted it to just be his brother that I was ok with that. I don’t want anyone standing up there that he doesn’t feel should be there. But he confirmed that he does want it to be even, so now he needs to get on the ball haha!
@CityBearBride: I like the way you think haha! Very clever and I am totally going to use your tactics…thanks! 🙂 Good luck with your dilemma – it will all work out!
Post # 12
@DaneLady: yep thats it. If you start doing it for them know they’ll always want you too. I didnt vote he needs to do this on his own. give him hints. I like th idea of asking him if he only wants his brother.
Post # 13
Yeah I would let him know that if he leaves it any longer they may not be able to be in the wedding, and how would he feel if that happened? Other than that, I’d leave it up to him.
Post # 14
@DaneLady: LOL That is the best advice!! My wedding is awhile away but my FI is dragging his heels on everything, asking his GMs is his only job at the moment. Well, he still won’t just get it over with.
I tend to stress over things like this and DaneLady is right. If he wants to stand up there alone because he won’t take the time to ask them, then let him. 🙂