Your post brought tears to my eyes and I am so sorry to hear that you feel alone during such an exciting time in your life. I will be an encore bride too, and I still want the same things for my second wedding as you do. I have had friends ask me "Why do you need to have another wedding? You’ve already done that." and it shows me that unless someone has been where we are, they simply do not understand. You have every right to want the wedding you’re describing. This is a different time in your life, with a different person, different feelings, and an outcome that will last a lifetime. A celebration worthy of finding your soul mate is exactly what you deserve, no matter your age! And by the way….middle-aged is NOT too old!
I would suggest gently letting your BMs know that you need some help. I think getting them together for a brunch, or even a drink later in the evening to discuss the wedding is a great idea. Instead of assigning them tasks, I would make a list prior to the meeting of the things that you need assistance with. Bring it with you and then let them choose which tasks they can do! This way it’s more of a choice to help than an obligation. Your BMs are probably good friends of yours and despite their busy schedules, they should be able to make some time to be there for you. Be honest with them and let them know that you appreciate them standing up to support you on your big day, but that you are feeling very overwhelmed now that the countdown is coming to an end and you need their support now, too.
If you decided only about the type of Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, does that mean you still have to choose the actual dress options? If that is the case, I think you should research some dresses online that you like and think would be flattering on your ladies, print them out, and take them with you to your meeting. Have them look at the pictures and decide on a couple of dresses. Then ask them when they can get together with you to go to the store to try them on. If your wedding is only a little over 2 months away, they do need to order them very soon so that they can allow for shipping and alterations.
Is there anything that your husband-to-be can do to help out?
Above all, do not dread your wedding day! Everyone starts to feel stressed and alone at one point or another, but everything will come together for a perfect day in which you get to marry the love of your life. How EXCITING!!! Your plans sound amazing – I would love to be a guest at a wedding that sounds as fun as yours will be! I am sure that you will forget all about how stressed you are the moment you walk down that aisle and stand next to your new husband. Come on, GET EXCITED!!!!! Woo hoo!!!! YOU are going to be a gorgeous summer bride!!! What is more awesome than that?!!?
And yes….bring yourself to this board whenever you need to. You can complain here, cry here, brag here, dream here, and you can definitely ask for any sort of advice here! I know that I love to look at different options for wedding plans and I love giving my opinion on decor, dresses, music, locations, wedding drama – just about anything! We all genuinely care here because we either are going or have been through many of the same things.
You have an entire hive behind you! You are not alone!! 🙂