(Closed) 7 days left before wedding. I am having some doubts and need some advice

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I get where you are coming from. 

My first marriage was to a man who made planty of money and between the two of us, we were very very comfortable.  Now, my finace makes (a little) less then I do, has zero in savings, is in debt, and I am paying for all the big expenses (the wedding, rings, honeymoon, etc). 

There are times when I also wonder whether I am doing the best thing, but those thoughts vanish quickly when I then imagine being without him.

Sure –  I might be scared about financial security.  But being without him scares me much much much more. 

But then there are all those other things you are worried about – the ways you two are different.  Life is about all kinds of compromise and communication.  There are some things about your finace you won’t change.  And there are things about you she can’t change.  But there are things you can both communicate about and work out together.  You both seem to have different ways to deal with money – you won’t be able to change how you deal with finances but you can come up with a compromise that satisfies you both. 

You seem to be a little frustrated about some of the things she does.  Have you talked to her about that?  Not in accusatory ways, but in ways that start with the sentence “I really like it when you are with me and my children.  It makes me feel good to see us all together.  Can you join us? 

But in the end, you have to look very honestly in your heart and ask yourself if you could live without her.  If you can’t, that will tell you a lot.  From your post, you sound like you love her.  I think you will be fine.

Post # 4
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t have any advice-although now that I think of it-maybe some financial counseling will help -so there is someone else talking about the budget instead of you bringing it up. 

Post # 5
46 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

wow thats a long post, sorry couldn’t get through reading it 


but wishing you best of luck 🙂

Post # 6
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m confused…your fiance works full time but only makes 200 a week? That doesn’t seem right, even minimum wage pays more than that…..

I’m not sure what to tell you–what are the plans with her adult sons  when you marry? Are they going to move into your house with her? If so, are they going to pay rent? At their age I don’t understand why they would be living at home for free….

Post # 7
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

you guys realize this post is a year old???

The topic ‘7 days left before wedding. I am having some doubts and need some advice’ is closed to new replies.

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