(Closed) 7 years …. Why hasn't he proposed ?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He’s not going to change. The cycle of him getting complacent, you threatening to leave, and him promising to “step up” will continue ad nauseam if you stay with him. It’s already happened once and you said yourself that he’s starting to slip again. It may feel like a waste of 7 years but you’re still so young. It sounds like you’re outgrown him. Find someone who wants the same things you do.

Post # 3
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

You see husband potential in a man who has cheated on you three times and essentially threw you out on your ass in the middle of the night. Yeah… no. Bye felicia. 

Post # 4
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

yourmydestiny91:  Here’s some tough love! You asked why he hasn’t proposed. There are a couple reasons.

1. He’s too young/immature

2. He doesn’t respect you (cheating, kicking you out of the house)

3. Regardless of how awful he treats you, he knows you’ll come back

You’ve out grown him and no matter what you do or say, you can’t change him. Accept this and move on. 

Post # 5
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

The years from ~18 to 25 can really define a person and their trajectory for the future. You have grown apart, and he has shown you he cannot be faithful. A few months of winning you over to keep you around, will fade far far away after decades of living in an unhappy marriage where his old habits rear up again.

You’ve lived some important years with him by your side, and now it looks like it’s time for you to move on. Don’t waste your time waiting for him to catch up, find a partner who is on your level. You can do it!

Post # 6
Member
4857 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

IMO it sounds like you outgrew him. 

Post # 7
Member
11616 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Why hasn’t he proposed? Based on your reports of his other behavior, he’s a POS and is not husband material.  

the real question is why would you say yes when you deserve so much more.

Post # 8
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

yourmydestiny91:  MOA (move on already)… this relationship doesnt sound enjoyable at all. People change a lot from the time they are in their late teens to thier mid 20’s… and its pretty clear you are on 2 totally different pages.

I was in a similar situation, date someone from the time I was 19 to 28… it was hard to move on but I knew we were in different places and he wouldnt change. I now have the best Fiance and couldnt be happier… hindsight really is 20/20.

Post # 9
Member
9219 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Stopped reading after the “Years ago he has cheated on me three times smh. That doesn’t include the flirting he has done with women. His mother convinced me to forgive him since he was young when this happened.”

Move on. Sorry, bee.

Post # 10
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

First, you’re a person, not a fucking farm animal. Your time and attention are not products with market value, and I’m sorry your mother thinks otherwise. 

Second, life is way too short to spend chained to some barely mediocre dude. The only time you used the word “love” in your post was to describe how much his family likes you, not how you feel about him or how he feels about you. Why would you stay with someone like this, let alone legally bind yourself to him for the rest of your natural life?

Untangle yourself from this bullshit and stop treating adults like a fixer upper project you’re obligated to stick with and make into something functional. “Potential in him being a husband” my ass, you’re trying to polish a turd–it’s not “kind of like there are more problems than good” there ARE more problems than good and you don’t want to see it. Put on your big girl pants, break up with this dime-a-dozen douchebag and spend some time focusing on your own awesome self. 

Post # 11
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would find a good therapist or someone to talk too…. deserve so much better.

Post # 12
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

7 years – why haven’t you walked away?

 

Let’s also add that he is a cheater with major issues. Why would you wanna be hitched with this guy?

Just…No

Post # 13
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

yourmydestiny91:  Unfortunately, from what I read, it sounds like he hasn’t proposed because he doesn’t want to marry you.  I think you should free yourself up for a more fulfilling and happy relationship.  

Post # 14
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

He hasn’t proposed because he doesn’t want to marry you/be married.

You are also trying to reason with an unreasonable person.  Is there any reason you think you only deserve cheaters?

Be single a while, and figure that out.  When you are ready, you’ll find a nice man to marry.

Post # 15
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

yourmydestiny91:  Move on. From what I could read of your post you two are in two different phases of life at his point. Not every long term relationship is supposed to last. The cheating should have been your AH-HA moment, but you chose to hold on. He’s a man-child. Time to cut the cord and find a grown man. Stop dealing with his crap, his mom is the only person who should be mothering him.

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