$750 for groomsmen outfits….is this normal?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

That suit is crazy expensive! We had the groomsmen rent tux’s at Men’s Warehouse here in the US, it was like $150. I can’t believe the groom is requesting his Groomsmen to buy the suits. It’s a bit inconsiderate.

Post # 32
Member
6660 posts
Bee Keeper

Loupyloo :  That is nuts. I would decline. A US bride here who has stood up in close to a dozen weddings and I’ve never heard of such a request (demand). Shouldn’t a UK wedding = UK rules? 

If your guy caves at least watch for a sale–earlier this week J Crew had something like 25% off purchases over a certain amount. 

Post # 33
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

That’s outrageous and completely unacceptable for the bride and groom to ask of you. Your husband needs to push back on this. This isn’t a US vs UK thing at all. I don’t know anyone who has spent that much on a suit for a wedding.

Post # 34
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

Also in the US, gracious couples ask the wedding party their estimated budget for suit/dresses that they are comfortable with, then the couple (bride) works with the party to figure out the outfit that costs close to everyone’s comfort level, not this kind of decree-from-heaven *cough*hell*cough*.

I would just decline and say “we don’t have that much budget to buy the outfit. Best of luck with the wedding planning.”

Post # 36
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

Loupyloo :  I’m with you that it’s outrageous but we had the same problem when Brother-In-Law got married. Darling Husband had to spend $600 on a custom suit. I thought it was ridiculous. We decided to just suck it up. 

Post # 37
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

US Bee here.  I have been a bridesmaid 6 times and I have never heard of the groomsmen being asked to buy a $750 suit. 

I know your husband doesn’t want to rock the boat, but the bride and groom will only take advantage of him if he lets them.  I would say something to the effect that the cost was much more than he was anticipating and is there an alternative (rent, buy a different suit) that would work.  If they say no, I would have no problem declining and just going as a guest.

One of my closest friends turned into a complete Bridezilla with her requests so even the most sweetheart girl can get out of control.  Fortunately, the bridal party banded together and stood up to our Bridezilla friend, with most of us ready to walk away.  She backed down on what she requested of us, and even though I still sometimes shudder at how much I spend on everything, had we not said something we would have been on the hook for much more.

Post # 38
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

My fiancé spent $1300 NZD on his suit, and th groomsmensuuts are $199 NZD. I feel bad asking them to pay that much, but we asked for their budget and they were all stoked with that price. 

Personally I think $750 is cheeky AF, but if it’s a nice suit that he will wear again it might end up being worth the money. 

Post # 39
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Loupyloo :  The wedding is in the UK so they should be following UK rules, which is the couple pays for the wedding party attire. After all, when the groom’s friends marry and have him as a groomsman, they’ll be paying for his suit. So at the very least the groom’s side should be following the UK tradition.

(When you married, was this guy a groomsman, and did you pay for his suit hire?)

But even if they go by US rules, it is outrageous that they aren’t keeping costs down.

I honestly think your Darling Husband should (politely) step down from being a groomsman over this. That amount of money for a groomsman suit is insane.

Post # 40
Member
428 posts
Helper bee

Loupyloo :  like julies1949 :  pointed, if groom is from U.K. N wedding is in U.K. Why are grooms men paying?

May be ur husband should tell them  that he can’t accept such an expensive suit from them – just to make them feel the pinch for a second 😉

I bet they would not have chosen that if they were paying.

Post # 41
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Loupyloo :  You aren’t out of touch. I have never seen a groom ask his groomsmen to pay that kind of money even at the priciest of affairs. If people want something like that it’s on them to pay. As PPs have said the etiquette is to consult on budget and style. 

IMO your H would be crazy to spend that kind of money. I’d tell the groom he’s not comfortable with anything close to this amount and that if this is a requirement he’s afraid he will just have to step down and attend as a guest. 

Post # 42
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No, not normal. And I just looked up the suit, I’m sure he could rent or buy one MUCH cheaper that looks pretty much the same. I would not pony up the cash for it. They’re taking advantage of him. 

Post # 43
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

My Fiance got a suit for under $400 including alterations (and he’s the groom!) so yes, $700 is outrageous. J Crew is a name brand though. They must be high rollers. I made sure to keep my bridesmaid dresses under $100, which is already a lot of money to ask anyone spend on something that is not even for them! It’s totally okay to turn down the purchase and step down from being a groomsman if need be. 

Post # 44
Member
411 posts
Helper bee

Bloody cheeky indeed! 😉

Definitely an out of line amount to ask someone to spend on wedding attire. I agree with PPs, if they were following the UK tradition and paying for the suits themselves, they likely would have chosen something more affordable.

I think your Darling Husband needs to stick to his guns here; he has found a more affordable option, if the aren’t ok with it then they can subsidize the difference. Which, frankly, I think is pretty kind you you guys to begin with. 

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