(Closed) 8 Ways Not to Ruin His Marriage Proposal.

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Luckily, I didn’t do any of these things… though now that we’re about to get married, I feel like I can have more serious conversations about when we want to start planning a family.  Women who are waiting for their bf to pop the question should not stress their guy out with baby-related talk or by acting like they’ll only marry someone who can give them a 3 carat diamond ring.

I’m glad they didn’t have “crying uncontrollably for a long time” and “crying every time you tell your proposal story for the first month after you got engaged” to the list, because I’d totally be on it.  He actually asked me, “You’re saying yes, right?” and I managed to say, “Yes! Happy tears! Yes!”

Post # 4
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Haha. I’ve committed the sin # 2 and 8. I know I was not supposed to. Everyone told me not to do #8, but I couldn’t help it.

He knows about the “criteria” I wanted in the ring. And once I found out he was shopping for ring, I gave him hell for about 2 months. I was concerning if the ring meets the “criteria” and I just hate waiting for surprise. (I also give him hell every Xmas about Xmas presents).

When he asked, I said OK. He didn’t accept OK, so I had to rephrase and said Yes.

Post # 5
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I haven’t done any except “snooping for the ring”.

Post # 6
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If your going to snoop you should be smart enough to do it when you wont get caught in the act.


Not that I would.

Post # 8
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally was “Resistant to his carefully planned strategy.”

He took me on our one year anniversary to the place we first met (TX state capital building), so I totally knew it was coming since we had already went ring shopping a couple months before. So we walk inside and he tries to get me to go to the middle of the rotunda, but I kept saying No and even told him “Let’s come back later!” He ended up saying “You’re ruining this!” Lol. So I caved and went to the middle where he got down on one knee. 🙂 

I wish I had just gone with it and not been as nervous as I was! But it did make for an interesting story to tell everyone!

Post # 9
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Impatiently waiting:I really wouldn’t. As much as I am a very curious and impatient person I really want it to be a suprise.

I just feel that if you are gonna snoop you might as well do it right.

Post # 10
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

If he leaves it where you can snoop it, then he ruined his own dang surprise. Wink

Post # 11
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Impatiently waiting: My SO and I chose our stone and our setting together, but I haven’t seen the finished ring! I had a very perfect opportunity to peek at my ring (my SO had me tie the bow on the box, because I’m good at tying bows lol). It took a lot of will power but I did NOT peek! When I gave the box back to him, he even said “Did you peek? It’s okay if you did…” so even HE thought I would do it, but I really want it to be a surprise. I know where he’s keeping it until he proposes and I am DYING to see it! At times I just want to rip it open lol, but I know that if I make the first time I see it when he goes down on one knee, it will be so special. 🙂

Post # 12
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I did number 2 and number 6- But my dream ring was significantly less expensive than what he would have probably gotten me otherwise had he not known.  And as for number 6- I really really didn’t want to get engaged in his home town- that said I would have been okay if he had proposed there.

Post # 13
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Oh jeez… let’s see.

I have not asked a friend to say anything but plenty of people have demanded to know what the hell is he waiting for.

I picked out my engagement ring and he wanted me to so I broke that one.

He wants babies more than I do so we are constantly talking about our future children.

I’m just excited to be getting engaged and I have not one clue when or where he will ask me to marry him so I guess this is one I don’t really do.

He is not the surprise planner type of guy so I’m willing to bet well have some issues with this.

I told him I do not want to be in my pajamas and that I don’t want it to be at a restaurant.

I am more interested in moving on with our lives than anything but I do love a good wedding. SO teases me that I love the hoopla more than him.

The ring is in my jewelry box but has no center stone so I don’t really have to snoop to find the ring.

So I guess were doomed and I’m a complete zilla. Oh well. I’m confident that we will get there eventually when SO is ready to. I’ll just be here waiting.

Post # 14
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i am the number 1 lol have done that, never found it thou tee hee

Post # 15
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I really dislike the, “no rules about the proposal” thing.  I have rules.  My SO knows I have rules — I don’t want a huge public display.  I’ve told him I don’t want anything really over the top, no crowds, no making a scene, none of it.  That sounds like hell on earth to me, and I’d like my proposal not to be hell on earth, thanks.  It comes across as saying women aren’t allowed to have standards or boundaries when it comes to how the proposal happens.  But on the other hand, if you’re marrying this person, they ought to know your likes, dislikes, and phobias by now.  But at the same time, some people get really swept up in the idea of “how a proposal has to be,” I suppose.  

Post # 16
1005 posts
Bumble bee

I did the dream ring thing, but he actually asked me for my ring choice, as he has no clue about jewelry and knows my tastes aren’t exactly in line with what you’d find if you put “engagement ring” into any search engine or went to the jewelry places in the mall. (Okay, so they’re REALLY not in line with what you’d find in the mall. For one thing, I hate diamonds, have since I was a child, mostly because they’re my birth stone so everyone always got me diamond-ish things.) I selected the exact ring set (e-ring and wedding band) that I want, and gave him the choice of getting it for me in sterling silver (will be less than $700 for the set, with stone) or white gold (will be around $1700 for the set, again with stone). The white gold version isn’t cheap, but it’s still on the lower end for an e-ring, and definitely on the low end for a set.

I also recently had a little bit of a moment in front of him about a baby, because my best friend called me while I was with him and told me she was pregnant, but he seemed to find it entertaining rather than worrying, and it’s not something I’ve continued going on about, aside from relaying her occasional texts about morning sickness to him (which, again, he laughs at). We’ve talked previously about our views on children, and agreed that we wouldn’t want to have any until at least 2-3 years into the marriage, and that we’d have at most 1-2, so there aren’t any surprises for him (or me!) there.

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