I agree. No woman, man, or child deserves to be taken advantage of, for granted, abused, emotionally abused, or treated with disregard. I would also rather be single than to put up with this just to be in a relationship. I don’t believe one’s value is based on sexual choices, but is having the self esteem to not allow poor treatment and being strong enough to say no to things that are unacceptable. If a woman really wants marriage and is unhappy with a man’s elusive, dismissal behavior and disregard, yet she allows herself to be strung along while continuing with “marriage-like” living conditions despite that, then I do feel that man is doing exactly what that phrase implies, and she is letting him.
To me, a situation being OK or not for a woman is based on what she is truly comfortable with. There are some women who really aren’t into marriage themselves and are really fine with this, and if both parties are happy with no hidden resentment—not even a tad—then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. Maybe she was married before and sees no reason to do it again, but does like companionship. That’s totally fine.
But if she has any resentment or feeling of being used, is being jerked around, yet still allows the situation to not only continue but to expand, then to me, it’s on her to take control of her destiny.
I don’t mean this as any judgement—I know it’s hard to convey tone over an internet post. I think the phrase does apply to the particular threads where the guys are not stepping up, have no intention to step up, and are leaving the women hanging and confused, since these women do want to be married, and because of it, get head games instead. This type of guy has a girlfriend who cooks for him, attends his needs, raises his child, changes the diapers, does his laundry, cleans his house, takes care of daily details, and provides pleasure. So since he has no desire to make her his wife and disregards her [opposite] needs and feelings, then yes, he fits the phrase, because in his mind, he’s got it already without having to marry her, so why marry. He gets away with it, and all he has to do is put up with what he sees as an occasional “whine” which he quickly dismisses. (but her “whine” is justifiable of course!!)
Luckily though, not all men feel this way or see this as acceptable behavior. I just hate to see women or anybody being used and treated shabbily. 🙂