- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I started my first “real” job about six weeks ago. It’s a 9-5 “desk job” that I do enjoy, but my commute is 1.5 hrs each way. I have to be out of bed at 6am, out the door by 6:45, to catch the bus to make it to my 9am job. Coming home, I get the bus at 5:10, and don’t get home until 6:30, sometimes 7 if there’s a lot of traffic or the bus is late. Most nights I have take-home work too so I’m “on the clock” even when I get home.
Driving is not an option as we only have one car (and even if we did have two, I would drive to the park-and-ride and still take the bus every day because I don’t want to drive through the city to my office).
I just feel like I have no freakin’ time to do anything anymore. When I get home it’s time to cook dinner, and by the time we’re finished eating at 8:00 I have about an hour and a half before I am crashing into bed exhausted. Most of that hour and a half is spent doing my take-home work, watching TV on my laptop with Fiance, or trying to get what little housework done that I can. But I seriously have no time to read anymore, or come on WB, or blog, or keep a clean house, or even really cook or bake like I used to (I used to love making a new recipe every night for dinner, now I barely have the energy to boil pasta and throw some store-bought sauce on it).
This complete lack of time is making me seriously resent my job. Every night when I go to bed I feel frustrated that I didn’t “finish” that day — like I still have blog posts I want to write, or still want to spend more time on WB boards, or still want to read a chapter in a book, or still want to bake that pie, or whatever. And every morning when I wake up, all I want to do is finish up the previous day’s activities, just sit and write a whole bunch and catch up on WB and bake something, but no — I have to trudge to work, all over again.
I used to be the Bree Van De Kamp of my social circle — clean, put-together home always ready for guests, amazing cook and baker, always crafting, never went to a dinner at someone’s house without a little something homemade to bring along. Now I hardly ever bake, and when I do, it’s a race against the clock to get it done as fast as I can so I don’t waste my precious free time. It’s not something enjoyable anymore. I don’t know when the last time I cooked a real dinner was. Our house is in a shambles. My garden is totally dead. The quilt I started this past summer, before my job, lies neglected and wrinkled and half-sewn. My blog, which is my one constant vice (I love to write and share things with people), sits neglected because the thought of writing a post makes my head hurt — even though I have a million things I want to post about.
I am seriously drained, guys. I don’t know if there’s much I can do about it but get used to it, though. I’ve been debating whether or not to ask my boss to change to a 4-10 schedule (i.e. work from 8a-6p four days a week and have one day a week off) or to ask if I can work remotely once a week so that during down time/lunch I can get housework done, and cut out my 1.5hr evening commute so that I can at least cook once a week. In an ideal world I would work remotely 100% of the time but I don’t think they would take very kindly to that. But asking for these changes after only six weeks of working here would look really bad, like I can’t handle my job. (It’s not that I can’t handle it — I enjoy the work I do and I like all my coworkers, it’s just that I equally enjoy homemaking and I don’t have any time for that anymore because of my commute, but I doubt my managing team would understand that.)
If I could leave for work at 8:30am and be home by 5:30pm, as many of my coworkers do/are, I would be so much happier. It’s the freaking commute that kills me, because it means I essentially have a 12-hour day. But moving is not an option so there’s nothing to be done about it.
I dunno. Just venting, I guess. Bees with long commutes, are you as frustrated as I am about the lack of free time? How do you deal?